老式建筑遺留的缺點與解決方法英語句式講解
老式建筑遺留的缺點與解決方法英語句式講解
編者按：老式建筑已經(jīng)是多年前存留下來的，它的建筑到現(xiàn)在可能會存在一些問題，有些優(yōu)缺點需要我們?nèi)プ⒁獾摹?/p>
Currently, it is true that several towns and cities architected some decades before, which has been considerably affecting a lot. In light of the circumstance, this essay will illustrate some negative effects, followed by several potent methods to address it.
1. 首先currently用得很不恰當，題目里的現(xiàn)象，建筑老化這個問題并不是近期才出現(xiàn)的，題目是讓討論這個現(xiàn)象。想清楚再寫，套模板寫得快。
2. Itis true that 這個模板寫太啰嗦，題目都已經(jīng)提出來這個現(xiàn)象存在了，寫它true，然后再重復一遍毫無意義，所以換一種表達方式：“現(xiàn)在仍然有很多地方保留老實的建筑風格。”這樣是不是更好一點?
修改后：
Nowadays, there are still many places that maintain historical construction styles. it has been considered to result in some problems. In this essay, the author will illustrate two negative impacts, followed by several potent methods to address it.
In general, this circumstance contributes to two major problems, citizen’s accommodation and the national prosperity. For one thing, in that period, it is obvious that buildings constructed were low. As a result, at present, those old houses not only cannot offer enough places for people to live but also occupy land, leading to the shortage of accommodation. For another, the driven force behind is that science and technology before are not as advanced as nowadays, so infrastructures and traffic conditions such as roods, public transportation and traffic indicators are poor and outdated. This means those numerous old facilities will affect the national development as well as prosperity.
1. 記住，主體段的第一句話是topic sentence，也就是中心句，是考官看你這段的切入點，盡量用一句概括性的陳述句概括本段的意思。所以范文里的中心句就是第一句。
2. 邏輯很好，第一點：老式建筑一般矮，放現(xiàn)在住不了那么多人，還占地方。第二點：老式建筑或設(shè)施裝備破舊，適應不了現(xiàn)代化生產(chǎn)的要求。我很喜歡你的兩個小點，只是語言表達上不夠精煉，你看看我的范文，對比一下。
修改后：
In general, this circumstance leads to twomajor problems. First, old building cannot match citizens’ accommodation requirements now. For example, most buildings constructed in previous centuries are in low heights, which cannot provide sufficient room for living and even occupy excessive lands. Secondly, the driven force differs with society developing. This implies old infrastructures and transportation facilities have become obsolete and outdated. Hence, these old facilities will affect national development as well as prosperity.
In addressing the situation, real estate agencies, the government and citizens should collaborate. Form companies’ perspective, they should allocate large amount of revenue and resources to construct the relevant advanced infrastructures and modern tall building. As for the government, a series of laws and rules should be formulated and translated into action to regulate construction property companies. What is more, it is the duty of government to make wise urban planning. Also, the citizens should comply with the decisions of the government; instead of occupy the land selfless.
1. 說實話，這篇文章里，你的邏輯表現(xiàn)得非常棒，這一段一共三個方面，建筑公司，政府，市民，面面俱到。
2. Government前面加the是特指，你這里是泛指，不用加the。
3. Realestate agencies是房地產(chǎn)公司或者房地產(chǎn)中介的意思。
4. Selfless是形容詞，無私的意思，你這里要用自私地，而且是副詞。
5. 語言表達問題具體參見范文。
In order to solve this problem, construction companies, governments and citizens should collaborate. From companies’ perspective, they need improve standards of construction to build more advanced infrastructures or buildings, which is updated to rising modern social requires. As for governments, a series of policies should be implemented to regulate construction companies and governments’ responsibility of urban plan-making is also needed. Finally, citizens should comply with relevant principles rather than occupying the land selfishly.
As indicated above, many towns and cities designed and constructed in the previous centuries lead to two major problems: shortage of citizen’saccommodation and affect the national prosperity. To cope with this issue, the authority, enterprises and individuals should join together to tackle thissituation.
1. Join together? 可以說work jointly。
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Tr:6
Cc:6
Lr:5
G: 5
Total:5.5
作者| Lynn
公眾號： 雅思寫作王
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