簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄大全
笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象,具有諷刺性和娛樂(lè)性。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
你能不能多支持我一點(diǎn)?
The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically,
一位年輕的政客打電話給他母親，高興地說(shuō)道：
"Hey, Mom, I just won the election! "
“嘿，媽?zhuān)覄傏A得這次的選舉呢!”
"Honestly, dear?" exclaimed his mother.
“你沒(méi)在騙我吧，親愛(ài)的?”他的媽媽驚叫。
" Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?"
“喔，媽!在這種時(shí)刻你還要提出像這樣的問(wèn)題嗎?(你這時(shí)還不相信我嗎/你還以為我是政客的虛假作風(fēng)嗎?)不相信我嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
臨時(shí)改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經(jīng)聽(tīng)人說(shuō)軍中不收沒(méi)有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊(duì)伍，可是有一個(gè)大塊頭、滿身毛發(fā)而且臭味難當(dāng)?shù)目ㄜ?chē)司機(jī)插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth.
當(dāng)法蘭克排到隊(duì)伍的前頭時(shí)，他對(duì)檢查的班長(zhǎng)說(shuō)他沒(méi)有牙齒，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他張開(kāi)嘴巴，接著用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你沒(méi)牙齒，不用當(dāng)兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接著輪到卡車(chē)司機(jī)，士官說(shuō)：“你有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡車(chē)司機(jī)說(shuō)道：“我患有嚴(yán)重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it around thoroughly,
班長(zhǎng)要那個(gè)家伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門(mén)轉(zhuǎn)了一整圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你的情形很?chē)?yán)重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再輪到佛烈德時(shí)，班長(zhǎng)又問(wèn)：“那你的問(wèn)題是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝視著他的食指，佛烈德答道：“沒(méi)什么問(wèn)題，班長(zhǎng)，我一點(diǎn)問(wèn)題也沒(méi)有。”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
完美解決之道
President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with his staff.
史拉伯總統(tǒng)和他的幕僚正搭機(jī)橫越美國(guó)上空。
Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:
忽然間他心中突發(fā)奇想，
"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "
“我想由窗口扔一張五十元美鈔下去，讓某個(gè)人高興一下。”
"Mr.President,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"
“總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五張十元的鈔票讓五個(gè)人高興呢?”
suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.
著名的國(guó)務(wù)卿建議道。
“Golly,Mr.President, why don't you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"
副總統(tǒng)派翠基接著說(shuō)：“啊，總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五十張一元鈔票，好讓五十個(gè)人高興呢?”
The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?"
這時(shí)飛機(jī)駕駛員轉(zhuǎn)身說(shuō)道：“為什么你不把自己丟出窗外，好讓每個(gè)人都高興呢?”
看了“簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話”的人還看了：