英語有趣笑話大全閱讀
英語笑話是一個可以學習到很多東西的，小編今天就給大家?guī)砹擞⒄Z的笑話，有空可以多看看
英語笑話一
The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars1 next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse2(論述，演講), I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody's hand went up.
Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."
牧師宣布下個禮拜天他布道時要講說謊者的問題。他說：“為了給這次布道做好準備，我希望大家都去看看《馬可福音》的第十七章。”
到了下個禮拜天，牧師開始布道時說：“如果你們按照我的要求看過《馬可福音》的第十七章，現(xiàn)在舉手。”幾乎每個人都舉了手。
牧師就說：“我要告訴你們，《馬可福音》并沒有第17章。”
英語笑話二
The preacher was vexed1(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚會) always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined2 he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing3 tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。
一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來?？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊?，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
英語笑話三
A young couple was on their way to get married1 when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven2. The young lady then asks St. Peter, "If things just don't work out can we get a divorce3?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, "Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?"
一對年輕的夫婦在去結婚的路上出了車禍，雙雙死去了。于是，他們來到了圣徒彼得面前，妻子問是否她還可以和丈夫結婚，圣徒彼得告訴他們，關于這個問題他一有了結果就會回來找他們。差不多30天以后，圣徒彼得回來了，并且告訴他們可以在天堂結婚。妻子又問：“如果生活的不愉快，我們可不可以離婚呢?”圣徒彼得看著她，回答說：“夫人，我花了30天才找到個傳教士，難道你真的希望我再去找個律師嗎?”
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