唯美英語散文：治愈分手創(chuàng)傷的萬靈藥

　　WRITING about your feelings, a practice long embraced by teenagers and folk singers, is now attracting attention as a path to good health. And a recent study suggests that reflecting on your emotions could help you get over a breakup. But, one of its authors says, journaling can have its downsides.

　　Is structured self-reflection, as some suggest, a healthy tuneup for the heart and head — or can it make hurt feelings worse?

　　For a study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, Grace M. Larson, a graduate student at Northwestern University, and David A. Sbarra, a psychology professor at the University of Arizona, looked at self-reflection through a speaking exercise. They recruited 210 young people (they ranged in age from 17 to 29) who had recently broken up with their partners, and then split this brokenhearted sample into two groups.

　　One filled out a questionnaire on how they were feeling, then completed a four-minute assignment in which they were asked to talk into a recording device, free-associating in response to questions like, “When did you first realize you and your partner were headed toward breaking up?” This group repeated the same exercise three, six and nine weeks later.

　　The second group filled out the questionnaire at the beginning and the end of the nine-week study period (they did the speaking exercise only once, after filling out their final questionnaires).

　　Ms. Larson and Dr. Sbarra found that the breakup sufferers in the first group experienced greater improvements in “self-concept clarity” than those in the second. Dr. Sbarra defines self-concept clarity as “the degree to which you understand yourself as a person.” He and Ms. Larson measured it by asking subjects how much they agreed with statements like “I do not feel like myself anymore” or “I have regained my identity.” Much of our understanding of ourselves can be bound up in our relationships with our partners, Dr. Sbarra explained — and if we break up, it can be hard to answer questions like “Who am I?” or “Who are my friends?” or “How should I spend my time?” The speaking exercise helped people, he explained, because “it improved their sense of self independent of their former partner.”

　　That improved sense of self, in turn, led to reductions in loneliness and “emotional intrusion.” As for why the exercise worked, Dr. Sbarra has a few theories. “There is a degree of habituation that takes place as you are repeatedly thinking and talking about the process” of a breakup, he said. “You defang it a little bit.” And, he added, hearing yourself say something may prove revelatory. He imagines a subject’s internal monologue: “I didn’t know I seemed to be getting better until I said I seemed to be getting better. I must be getting better.”

　　For people going through breakups without the benefit of psychology researchers to record their thoughts, Dr. Sbarra says the study offers some insights. Getting back your sense of self after a breakup, he argued, is crucial: “You really need to figure out a way to pull yourself back together and to try to get some reorganization in terms of who you are, what you do, how you spend your time.” You may not need a recording device to do that — Dr. Sbarra believes that you might also be able to rebuild your self-concept by writing, “in a stream-of-consciousness way, how you’re feeling about things.”

　　OTHER researchers see benefits from self-reflective writing beyond soothing post-breakup pain — and the practice is drawing media attention, too. At the news website Mic, Rachel Grate cites research by a team from New Zealand showing that writing exercises may aid wound healing. She also quotes the psychologist James W. Pennebaker of the University of Texas at Austin: “When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health.”

　　According to James Hamblin at The Atlantic, a 2012 study found that writing improved quality of life for breast cancer patients. Laura I. Miller at the website Bustle offers 12 reasons we should all resolve to write more in 2015. And “if writing about the difficult parts of your life were a drug,” writes Drake Baer at Business Insider, “it would be making bank for some faceless pharmaceutical company.”

　　But if it were a drug, it might be one with a maximum recommended dosage — and warnings for certain patients. In another study, Dr. Sbarra found that divorced people assigned to do expressive writing exercises — essentially, exercises wherein they reflected on their feelings — showed no greater improvement in measures of emotional well-being than those asked to write, without emotion, about what they did during the day. And subjects who tended to ruminate on their situation actually did better if they were assigned to the emotion-free writing.

　　The prompts in the expressive writing study were more involved than those in the speaking-exercise one — instead of responding to simple questions, participants were asked to “really delve into your deepest emotions and thoughts” or to “work toward creating a coherent story and narrative, with yourself as the storyteller.”

　　“I think the expressive writing intervention at times can be too heavy-handed,” said Dr. Sbarra. “It can be too directive without allowing people’s natural coping tendencies to do what they’ve done over the course of evolutionary history.” And for some people, reflecting too much on their feelings can make things worse. “That’s the real danger of our journaling culture,” he added — diary writing isn’t “one size fits all.”

　　For many, the key may turn out to be some self-reflection, but not too much: writing about your feelings, “but then not necessarily mulling over it or doing any more. Just write it, talk about it, leave it, do it again.”

　　“There’s a really delicate balance between avoiding and getting overinvolved for every stressful event,” Dr. Sbarra explained, “and so you touch on it, you think about it, you put it out there, you reflect, and then you sort of create some distance.”

　　So if you ever get a prescription for writing, it might read: Spend a little time with your diary — and then go for a walk.

　　寫下自己的感想，這種長期被青少年和民謠歌手所采納的做法，目前正作為一種保持健康的途徑，吸引著人們的注意力。最近的一項研究表明，反思自己的情緒能幫你渡過分手時期。但是，論文的一名作者稱，記日記可能會產生消極影響。

　　有人建議進行有條理的自我反思，但這樣做會讓身心得到健康的調整——還是會讓受傷害的感覺更加強烈?

　　美國西北大學(Northwestern University)的研究生格雷斯·M·拉爾森(Grace M. Larson)和亞利桑那大學(University of Arizona)的心理學教授戴維·A·斯巴拉(David A. Sbarra)在《社會心理與人格科學》(Social Psychological and Personality Science)期刊上發(fā)表了一篇論文，為此，他們通過自述對自我反思進行了研究。他們招募了210名最近與伴侶分手的年輕人(年齡從17歲到29歲不等)，然后把這些極度傷心的研究對象分成兩組。

　　其中一組需要填寫關于個人感受的調查問卷，然后再對著一臺錄音設備講話4分鐘，對于“你從什么時候開始意識到自己和伴侶即將分手”等問題，他們可以自由聯(lián)想。這組人在3周、6周和9周之后，重復了同樣的任務。

　　第二組則在最初和為期9周的研究即將結束時填寫了調查問卷(他們只在填完最后的調查問卷后，做過一次自述)。

　　拉爾森和斯巴拉發(fā)現(xiàn)，與第二組因為分手而備受折磨的人相比，第一組人在“自我概念清晰性”方面有更大的改善。根據(jù)斯巴拉的定義，自我概念清晰性指的是“人對自身存在的理解程度”。他和拉爾森通過詢問研究對象對一些觀點的認可程度，對這一點進行了評測。這些觀點包括“我覺得自己已經(jīng)不像自己了”和“我已經(jīng)找回了自我”等等。斯巴拉解釋道，我們對自身的理解在很大程度上可能都與我們和伴侶的關系緊密相關，所以一旦分手，像“我是誰”、“我的朋友都有哪些”或者“我應該如何打發(fā)時間”這樣的問題，就往往會變得難以回答。他解釋說，自述能幫助人們，因為“它可以幫人們提高脫離于前情侶的自立感”。

　　這種經(jīng)過提高的自我意識，反過來又能減少孤獨感和“情緒入侵”。至于自述為什么會起作用，斯巴拉有幾個推測。“隨著你反復思考和談論分手過程，就會產生一定程度的習慣化，”他說。“這樣會削弱它的影響力。”他還說，聽自己講述一些內容，可能會具有啟發(fā)性。他想象研究對象的內心獨白：“直到我說出自己似乎好些了，才知道我似乎真的已經(jīng)好些了。我一定要好起來。”

　　斯巴拉說，對于那些在分手后沒有心理學研究人員幫他們記錄想法的人，這項研究提供了一些啟發(fā)。他認為，在分手后找回自我意識至關重要：“你真的需要找到一種找回自我的方式，試著對你是誰，你要做什么，你應該如何打發(fā)時間等問題進行重組。”做到這一點，你或許并不需要錄音設備——斯巴拉認為你或許也能通過寫作來重塑自我概念，“以一種意識流的方式來書寫你對事物的感覺”。

　　還有一些研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，進行反思式寫作除了可以緩解分手后的痛苦，還有其他好處，這種做法也獲得了媒體關注。在新聞網(wǎng)站Mic上，拉赫爾·格拉特(Rachel Grate)提到了一個新西蘭團隊的研究項目，該研究說明寫作聯(lián)系可能有助于創(chuàng)傷修復。她還引用德克薩斯大學奧斯汀分校(University of Texas at Austin)心理學家詹姆斯·W·佩內貝克(James W. Pennebaker)的話稱，“當人們有機會記錄自己的情緒波動時，他們的健康狀況通常會有所改善。”

　　詹姆斯·漢布林(James Hamblin)在《大西洋月刊》(The Atlantic)雜志發(fā)表文章稱，2012年的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，寫作的做法提高了乳腺癌患者的生活質量。勞拉·I·米勒(Laura I. Miller)在Bustle網(wǎng)站撰文，列出了我們在2015年應該決心記錄更多的12個理由。“如果記錄生活中的艱難時刻的做法是一種藥物，”德雷克·貝爾(Drake Baer)在商業(yè)內幕(Business Insider)網(wǎng)站上寫道，“一些不知名的制藥公司就可以一夜暴富了。”

　　但如果這是一種藥物，它可能會設有最大推薦劑量——以及針對某些病人的警告。在另一項研究中，斯巴拉發(fā)現(xiàn)，與那些沒有情緒的、被要求記錄一天當中的所作所為的人相比，被指派做表達性寫作練習的——基本上是記錄對自己的感覺的反思——離婚人士并沒有獲得更大程度的改善。當那些傾向于反思自身情況的人被指派進行無情緒寫作時，他們實際上做得更好。

　　表達性寫作研究中的提示比自述研究的提示更為深入。它要求參與者“真正探索自己最深層的感受與想法”或“自己作為敘述者，努力創(chuàng)作一個連貫的故事”，而不僅限于回答簡單的問題。

　　“我覺得表達性寫作這種干預手段有時會力度過大，”斯巴拉說。“如果不允許人采用自然的應對機制，從事他們在演化過程中發(fā)展出來的慣用做法，那么這種手段就會指令性過強。”對于一些人來說，過度反思自己的感受會讓情況變得更糟。“這是日記文化真正的危險所在，”他還表示——寫日記的做法“并不適用于所有人”。

　　對于很多人而言，秘訣可能是一定程度上的自我反思，可是不要過多：記錄自己的感受，“但不一定要思前想后或做更多的事情。就把它記錄下來，聊一聊，然后遺忘，再來一遍”。

　　“實際上，對于每一個承受壓力的情境，在避免過分投入和過分投入之間存在微妙的平衡，”斯巴拉解釋稱，“你提到這種情緒，你去思考它，把事實擺在那兒，反思，然后就在某種程度上拉開了一些距離。”

　　因此，如果你得到了一張有關寫作的處方，它可能是這么寫的：花一點時間寫日記，然后出去走走。