【托福寫作備考】要對(duì)自己的托福作文進(jìn)行自我審核
在托福備考過(guò)程中，寫作練習(xí)除了不斷看一下高分的范文外，始終還是要進(jìn)行一些自己的動(dòng)筆練習(xí)的。下面就為大家?guī)?lái)如何審核自己的托福寫作練習(xí)，希望能為大家的備考帶來(lái)一些幫助。
【托福寫作備考】要對(duì)自己的托福作文進(jìn)行自我審核
托福文章字?jǐn)?shù)
當(dāng)然，對(duì)于審核自己的托福文章的字?jǐn)?shù)，當(dāng)然不會(huì)是要求大家每次作文后一字一字的數(shù)有沒(méi)有達(dá)到標(biāo)準(zhǔn)要求。而是，在寫作時(shí)需要明一些問(wèn)題，包括主題論點(diǎn)確定了么?考題有明確的分論點(diǎn)展開(kāi)么?每個(gè)分論點(diǎn)中有明確的論述或是例證么?這些都是對(duì)托福作文最為基本的要求，如果這些要求都已經(jīng)達(dá)到，那字?jǐn)?shù)這個(gè)問(wèn)題也自然就不用提了。
言語(yǔ)過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單
對(duì)于初入托福寫作的學(xué)生來(lái)說(shuō)，除了文章的字?jǐn)?shù)問(wèn)題之外，就是其中頻頻出現(xiàn)過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單的句型。對(duì)于一種語(yǔ)言考試來(lái)說(shuō)，雖然不要求你使用高難度詞匯或語(yǔ)法，但是如果出現(xiàn)過(guò)多的簡(jiǎn)單句，也會(huì)造成評(píng)分的下降。比如，在形容詞中用了過(guò)于抽象化的詞語(yǔ)，這些詞語(yǔ)不但不能非常到位的表述想要表達(dá)的內(nèi)容。同時(shí)，也會(huì)讓閱卷人產(chǎn)生誤解，你的詞匯基礎(chǔ)真的可以么?
模板痕跡太重
想要快速上手托福寫作，很多中國(guó)學(xué)生都會(huì)選擇使用模板的方式。但是，在使用的過(guò)程中，還是要提醒大家，邊練習(xí)邊收集好自己的素材和例證。太過(guò)于追求經(jīng)典范文中的內(nèi)容，對(duì)其進(jìn)行背誦，其實(shí)對(duì)于自己寫作的得分并不會(huì)帶來(lái)什么幫助。
托福寫作解析：高分需要注意的三個(gè)問(wèn)題
一.英語(yǔ)基本功
在托福獨(dú)立寫作中，并沒(méi)有相關(guān)的閱讀和聽(tīng)力內(nèi)容可以幫助考生組織自己的語(yǔ)言，考生在答題的時(shí)候能憑借的僅僅是自己的英語(yǔ)基本功。在考試中，很多考生因?yàn)閷?duì)于詞匯和語(yǔ)法不熟悉，所以不能恰當(dāng)?shù)氖褂迷~匯來(lái)表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，文章中的句子和句子之間邏輯的關(guān)系混亂。
建議：考生在備考托福寫作的過(guò)程中，首先要重視托福詞匯的備考，對(duì)于基礎(chǔ)比較薄弱的考生來(lái)說(shuō)，要從四級(jí)詞匯開(kāi)始背起，然后逐步過(guò)渡到六級(jí)詞匯和托福詞匯的備考。建議考生在備考詞匯的時(shí)候要制定一些背詞匯的計(jì)劃表，有步驟的去背誦。其次，考生要重視語(yǔ)法的積累，要重點(diǎn)掌握被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，強(qiáng)調(diào)句型，非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞，從句的使用方法。
二.中式翻譯
英語(yǔ)畢竟不是我們的母語(yǔ)，很多考生在學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)的時(shí)候習(xí)慣性的用中式思維來(lái)表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，比如很多考生用black society來(lái)表達(dá)黑社會(huì)的含義，用eight hang來(lái)表達(dá)八卦的意思。但是判卷的考官并不是中國(guó)人，考官并不明白考生真正想要表達(dá)的意思是什么，考生在托福寫作考試中，很容易因?yàn)檫@樣而出現(xiàn)低分的現(xiàn)象。
建議：針對(duì)有這種情況的考生，小編認(rèn)為，如果想要改變這種現(xiàn)狀，就一定要多聽(tīng)多看。建議考生通過(guò)一些經(jīng)典的美劇比如《生活大爆炸》，《老友記》，或者是一些經(jīng)典的美國(guó)大片比如《阿凡達(dá)》，《風(fēng)月俏佳人》等等來(lái)增強(qiáng)對(duì)于英語(yǔ)中語(yǔ)境的熟悉程度，提升語(yǔ)感。
三.套路化明顯
很多考生在寫托福寫作的時(shí)候會(huì)背誦模板，在考試的時(shí)候，不管遇到了什么題目都生搬硬套的使用模板，這樣在考官判卷的時(shí)候，很多作文框架千篇一律，如出一轍，極大的降低了考生的分?jǐn)?shù)。
建議：建議考生在備考托福閱讀的時(shí)候，每天進(jìn)行英文寫作練習(xí)，用英文來(lái)寫日記，在寫作的過(guò)程中增強(qiáng)自己的寫作能力。
托福寫作解析：電影和電視的利弊
托福寫作題目：
A/D Movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.
30分作文也沒(méi)有那么難做到啦。這是一篇近期考出30分寫作的同學(xué)的考前習(xí)作。這個(gè)考試季很多同學(xué)反映寫作壓分，30分的作文單項(xiàng)分已經(jīng)很罕見(jiàn)。我們一起看看，在這個(gè)季節(jié)，什么樣的作文能穩(wěn)穩(wěn)拿下考場(chǎng)高分。
總結(jié)一下幾個(gè)要點(diǎn)
1. 清晰有力的論證邏輯
2. 準(zhǔn)確的用詞
3. 句式的適當(dāng)變化，如排比，虛擬，短句的偶爾出現(xiàn)。
4. 小錯(cuò)誤多次出現(xiàn)可以容忍
托福寫作滿分作文：
Whenever I turn on TV, I see dark themes and plots of programs broadcast on it. Just calculate roughly, there are about 30 programs whose theme is pessimistic in every 40 programs. 【眼尖的同學(xué)一眼能看出來(lái)幾處語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，顯然ETS不那么介意;我們要學(xué)習(xí)的是作者用數(shù)字說(shuō)明問(wèn)題】And there are so many plots orienting adults that should not be seen by young people.【上面兩個(gè)句子點(diǎn)出電視節(jié)目的兩個(gè)問(wèn)題，為論點(diǎn)的出現(xiàn)做充足鋪墊】So I strongly believe that movies and televisions have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave. 【出論點(diǎn)，論點(diǎn)句要穩(wěn)扎穩(wěn)打，千萬(wàn)別此刻玩花的，花大了別人沒(méi)看懂就麻煩了】This is not only because young people will imitate the inappropriate behavior in the programs, but also because the dark theme of them will distort the way young people view the world.【預(yù)告自己的兩個(gè)分論點(diǎn)，老套的開(kāi)頭結(jié)構(gòu)，勝在穩(wěn)重清晰】
Firstly, young people may imitate the bad behavior they saw on televisions and movies.【同樣，觀點(diǎn)句不許玩花的，老實(shí)點(diǎn)兒】 Young people, especially children, are not sophisticated enough to think about the consequences【用詞準(zhǔn)確】 or their behavior carefully, and they are often eager to try new things 【解釋論點(diǎn)句為什么成立--因?yàn)槟贻p人有這些特性】. Television programs and movies often include some violent behavior in them in order to make the plots more inviting【用詞準(zhǔn)確】 and attract more people to watch.【重申電視節(jié)目的特點(diǎn)，暴力鏡頭多，與上一句‘年輕人愛(ài)模仿’的信息合起來(lái)為下一句短句的力量制造必要條件】 So here is the problem【我們一再?gòu)?qiáng)調(diào)的短句的力量】. Young people will probably try those inappropriate【用詞準(zhǔn)確】 behaviors they saw on televisions, thinking they are normal or acceptable.【換個(gè)方式把論點(diǎn)句重新說(shuō)了一遍，但并不讓人覺(jué)得重復(fù)，因?yàn)轫槼猩衔牡倪壿嬐评矶闪ⅰＨ螞](méi)有一個(gè)例子，直接用純論證完成，功力可見(jiàn)】
Secondly, lots of pessimistic themes of television programs or movies will make young people feel sad about the world. 【雖然主語(yǔ)長(zhǎng)了一些，但作為論點(diǎn)句，依然是經(jīng)典的主謂賓結(jié)構(gòu)，簡(jiǎn)潔明了】As mentioned in the former paragraph, there are violence in TV programs and movies, and young people may not only imitate those bad behaviors, but also affected by the sad view in these programs.【借力上一段的內(nèi)容，回點(diǎn)上段，增加文章內(nèi)部的粘結(jié)力，但是在上一段所討論信息的基礎(chǔ)上向前推進(jìn)一步，推出新論點(diǎn)，經(jīng)典的承上啟下結(jié)構(gòu)】 Because they are during a period when their ways of looking at the world are formed, seeing too much about the dark side of the society is no good for their growth.【解釋上一句為什么成立--因?yàn)槟贻p人世界觀正在成形,應(yīng)該用being formed 而不是are formed，但這種小錯(cuò)誤不影響高分】It can create a false sense of reality【用詞準(zhǔn)確，來(lái)自平時(shí)的積累】, as if the only newsworthy events are those that are tragic or violent. They may form a bad habit of always looking at people or events from a dark point of view, feeling hopeless and despairing, even conducting some self-destructive behaviors.【這個(gè)列舉的句子如果從sat語(yǔ)法的角度來(lái)說(shuō)也是錯(cuò)誤多多的……不過(guò)從語(yǔ)義上來(lái)說(shuō)，做了一個(gè)因勢(shì)利導(dǎo)夸大其詞的論證推斷，三個(gè)列舉層層遞進(jìn)互為因果，還是實(shí)現(xiàn)了列舉的修辭效果的】
Admittedly, there are some programs trying to convey optimistic view to viewers, but their plots are so unrealistic that they cannot convince young people. 【讓步段第一句話，先提出自己之前的論證沒(méi)有正視的情況，再明確指出這種情況的致命缺點(diǎn)】And they tell stories in a too exaggerating way, making stories more unconvincing. 【補(bǔ)刀】For example【全文都沒(méi)有舉例論證，到這里實(shí)在摒不住了，呵呵】, once I saw a TV program on the daily life of a couple. In order to convey【用詞準(zhǔn)確】 the view that ‘if you do good things, you will always get want you want’, the program told a story that the young man picks up 10000 dollars three times a week just because he always helps his neighbors and the god is touched by him! What a ridiculous story! If I were a child, I would have no desire to do good things, as I didn’t believe I would pick up so much money no matter how many good things I did.【這個(gè)虛擬語(yǔ)氣的使用信手拈來(lái)，適合各種假設(shè)狀況的探討】 So even if there are some programs with optimistic themes, I don’t think they will impact young people more than those with pessimistic themes. 【總結(jié)這個(gè)例子對(duì)于自己論點(diǎn)的意義，再次強(qiáng)化自己的立場(chǎng)】
托福寫作模板:演藝明星的高薪
托福寫作真題題目：
Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
托福寫作范文：
Nowadays, the annual incomes of many sports stars and film stars come to millions of dollars. Some people claim that their salaries are too high. Yet, in my opinion, such salaries are well deserved. They work hard to become famous, provide entertainment for us, and win honors for their countries.
First, famous athletes and entertainers make painstaking efforts to achieve fame. Fame is a wonderful thing to have, but it seldom appears overnight. Famous people have worked hard for years to achieve their fame today and they have to continue their good work to maintain it. For their hard work, sports and entertaining stars deserve to be generously rewarded. Unfortunately, people tend to focus on the huge amounts of money made by them. They rarely appreciate the efforts that athletes and entertainers have to make in order to achieve the fame that they have today. For example, in order to win the first place in a 100-meter dash, an athlete has to cover hundreds of miles during training. Famous stars deserve their high salaries because they have worked hard.
Second, sports and entertaining stars provide us with good entertainment. On weekends, many of us attend a football match that includes Beckham, see a movie that stars Julia Roberts, or go to a concert that features Celine Dion. These people help us make good use of our free time by entertaining us. As a result, we feel inspired as well as relaxed. In other words, we feel energetic again after attending the events. We even feel that we have more to enjoy in life and have new aspirations. For such reasons, these people are worth their high salaries.
Third, athletes and entertainers win honors for their countries. For example, after four years’ hard work, many athletes win gold medals at the Olympics Games. They are able to make millions of dollars a year after the games. Such high salaries are justified, because these athletes have won honors for their countries in the most competitive arena and have made their people proud, something few people can even dream of. This is true for entertainers as well. Many actors and actresses receive high salaries after they have won Oscars or prizes at Cannes Films Festival. Those people also deserve high salaries, because they have made a name in films for their country and have made their country better known by people elsewhere in the world.
All in all, famous athletes and entertainers merit their high salaries, for their hard work, entertainment they provide, and their contribution to their country. If I had a chance, I would be a famous star who can make millions of dollars a year.
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