托福獨立寫作讓步段的高分寫法
寫好讓步段在托福獨立寫作中可以為我們加分,那么你知道托福獨立寫作讓步段的高分寫法嗎?一起來看看吧!
托福獨立寫作讓步段的高分寫法
讓步段1
Students can use their mobile phones to surf on the Internet or listen to the music while doing their homework.
Admittedly, some students claim that listening to music or surfing online can reduce the anxiety and tension while doing homework, but what you may not know is that people’s sub-consciousness is actually distracted, which not only slows down the progress of the work but also burdens their nerves. Hence, the real way to relax your mind is to kick off your shoes, sit back and listen to light or classical music after having finished the entire task rather than during the process.
本題其實是一個典型的一元素的題目,這個元素就是能否看手機,我們可以把這個元素看成 a, 文章結構就是先說 a 的兩個壞處,a1- a2-, 然后在讓步的時候說 a+,但是由于題目的立場是反對,所有讓步可以以 a+ 開始,但是最后以 a- 結束,否則就會對自己的立場有一定的削弱。
讓步段1的示范
It is important for the government to allocate money on beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. [2014年5月24日]
Admittedly, some people claim that spending money on beautiful things can satisfy people’s higher level needs, but what you may not know is that the satisfaction of residents’ most basic needs might be compromised, which not only takes a heavy toll on their living conditions but also poses a major threat to the government with tight budget. Hence, there is no better way for a country to achieve successful development than to devote its budgets to practical needs.
本題是一個兩元素比較類的題目,元素 a 是美麗的東西,元素 b 是實際的東西,而立場是支持 b>a,所以讓步的時候我們就寫 a+ a- b+ 從說 a 的好處過渡到 b 好。這里面有幾個表達希望大家注意一下。主語從句結合not only but also 的結構:what you may not know is that..., which not only ... but also ....。以及 there is no better way for sb to do sth than to do sth 。還有 a take a heavy toll on b and a pose a major threat to b。
讓步段2
Students can benefit from student organization and club activities as much as from their academic studies.
Admittedly, academic study is of vital importance to every student, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of academic study does not mean that student organizations and club activities are dispensable. One who devotes himself to academic study without paying any attention to extra-curricular activities stands a fair chance to become a nerd with high IQ but low EQ, which is not an ideal case.
本題是一個經(jīng)典的 a=b 的題目,立場是支持 a>b 然后文章結構依然是 a1+ a2+ b+ 兩個理由一個讓步的形式。讓步的時候 b+ b- a+ 的套路。這里面有些表達很不錯,比如:a is of vital importance to b, be blind to sth, to emphasize the importance of a does not mean that b is dispensable, stand a fair chance to do sth。這些表達希望大家重點記一下,然后融入到自己的讓步段的模板里面。幾個讓步稍微融合一下就可以避免跟別人撞車了。
讓步段2的示范
Visiting a museum is the best way to learn about a country.
Admittedly, paying a visit to a museum is of vital importance to learning about a country, for it provides the basic and systematic knowledge related to the country’s history to which we cannot be blind. However, to emphasize the importance of museums does not mean that other ways of getting to a country are of lesser importance. One who devotes himself to visiting museums without paying any attention to other ways stands a fair chance to lose sight of a country’s present magnificence, which is not an ideal case.
本題是一個多元素的題目,翻譯過來就是 a>b a>c a>d ... a>n, 我們的立場是不同意,所以最好找兩個不等式來證明他們是不成立的,比如:b>a c>a。我們可以寫上網(wǎng)這個方式很好啊,另外交友也是一個不錯的方式啊。讓步承認博物館有好處,可以讓我們了解一個國家的歷史,但是如果認為其他方式不如它重要的話很可能不能夠了解國家現(xiàn)在的成就,這就不好了。這里面又出現(xiàn)了兩個新的短語,lose sight of = be blind to 還有 be of lesser importance 跟 be of vital importance 正好相反。
讓步段3
Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in sponsoring arts than in athletics.
Admittedly, the significance of arts cannot be overlooked; building up an artistic atmosphere is conducive to refining people’s artistic taste. If a society is artistically cultivated, hardly would its people’s souls be corrupted by materialism. However, compared with arts, athletics is more fundamental, i.e., without good health, people will not be able to make any great achievements including those in the area of arts. Thus, the vital importance of athletics is self-evident.
本題是一個兩元素的題目,兩個元素分別是藝術和體育,a>b。而本題的立場是支持 b>a。所以文章的結構是 b1+ b2+ a+。讓步的時候依然是 a+ b+ 的結構。這里面涉及到的比較不錯的表達有:the significance of a cannot be overlooked, be conducive to, the vital importance of b is self-evident, 以及倒裝句 hardly would its people's souls be corrupted by materialism。
讓步段3的示范
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People who have learned many different skills are more likely to succeed than those who focus on learning only one skill. [2014年2月22日]
Admittedly, the significance of being versatile cannot be overlooked since it is conducive to increasing one’s competitive advantage in the workplace. If an individual has multiple skills, hardly would he or she be outstripped by others. However, compared with learning a variety of skills, zeroing in on one skill is more fundamental without which people will not be able to make any great achievements. Thus, the vital importance of concentrating on one skill is self-evident.
本題也是一個兩元素的題目,我們只要將模板中的相應位置進行合理的替換即可。替換的時候盡量用一些同義詞或者短語來避免重復。本段中也有幾個不錯的表達,比如:increase one's competitive advantage 以及 be outstripped by = be eclipsed by 還有 zero in on = focus on等等。希望大家注意總結哈。
托福獨立寫作以退為進的“讓步段”寫法
俗話說“知己知彼,百戰(zhàn)不殆”,想寫出漂亮的“讓步段”,你必須去了解“讓步段”的由來和寫法。今天,就讓蔡潤光老師帶你學習“讓步段”!
對于一篇獨立寫作,主體段充分展開與否非常重要。在主體段段落安排時,除了寫支持段(supporting paragraphs)也可以使用讓步段(concession)??忌唤麜枺壕烤购螢樽尣蕉?為何要寫讓步段?具體如何寫讓步段?筆者蔡蔡將會一一解答。
究竟何為讓步段?
讓步段內(nèi)容會寫到支持面的弊端或?qū)α⒚娴膬?yōu)點,貌似與立場相悖,南轅北轍;實則,讓步段并不是“搬石頭砸自己的腳”,而是為了“退一小步,近一大步”以退為進地加強文章立場。
為何要寫讓步段?
實則是為了:內(nèi)容上更加充實,邏輯上更加嚴密,思路上更加切題。
首先,段落展開內(nèi)容上不僅可以說支持面的好處,也可以寫自身有何缺點,或反方有何可取之處。這樣一來,文章可寫內(nèi)容變多,更加充實。其次,在邏輯上也包含了辯證思考,正反分析。最后,對于題干中反面不可被忽略的題目,如二選一的利弊類題目,若沒有通過段內(nèi)對比的方式包含對立面,文章并未全面覆蓋題干信息,充分切題,但用讓步段可以將兩者兼顧。
具體如何寫讓步段?
01
欲揚先抑(跟支持面讓步)
欲揚先抑是指先承認支持面不足,稍加解釋不足之后,轉(zhuǎn)折提出整體利大于弊,或不足之處可被避免。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has more positive effects than negative ones.
以本題為例,題目問科技是否利大于弊。因為題目中包含了利弊兩個方面,不建議只寫利處或弊端,可以通過讓步段兼顧題目立場的弊端。本題若選擇支持立場,可以先通過兩個主體段充分支持科技的好處,如1.科技促進了人們之間的信息交流。2.科技給社會帶來諸多便利,省力省時。讓步段便可采用欲揚先抑,即承認科技有弊端,如占用過多的時間,面臨個人信息被盜的風險,但是較之于整體獲得的便利,這些弊端可以忽略不計。事實上,只要合理規(guī)劃時間,上網(wǎng)時注意個人信息的保護,這些弊端也可以避免。
該類讓步思路梳理清楚后,蔡蔡給大家補充一些常用表達。
承認自身不足
Admittedly / Undoubtedly / There is no denying that / It cannot be denied that/It is true that(誠然,不可否認的是)支持面, to some extent(一定程度上), may/possibly/probably(或許) have one or two/a couple of/minor drawbacks/defects/demerits/shortcomings(不足)
稍加解釋不足:
For instance/for example/to illustrate,...
但整體利大于弊:
However/nevertheless/nonetheless/as a matter of fact然而
Its overall merits/benefits/advantages(整體好處) far outweigh/outnumber/overshadow(遠大于)its demerits/defects/disadvantages(其弊端)
但弊端可以規(guī)避:
As a matter of fact/In fact, as long as 解決方案, the so-called negative effects/consequences can be avoided.
However, the problem can be solved by …
Actually, the negative influence can be eliminated by …
02
先禮后兵(跟對立面讓步)
先禮后兵是指承認對立面好,稍加解釋后轉(zhuǎn)折讓步:沒支持面好或者有潛在弊端
Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork.
以本題為例,父母應該利用難得的親子時光陪孩子做游戲或運動,還是陪孩子做作業(yè)。若立場為支持父母陪孩子做游戲或運動,可以有兩點支持:1.陪孩子做運動有助于孩子放松身心壓力2.陪孩子游戲或運動時可以促進親子交流。讓步段可以和對立面讓步,即承認陪孩子做作業(yè)有一定好處,比如有利于孩子鞏固所學,提高學習成績,但過多注重學習而忽略課外活動會物極必反,孩子有可能變成沒有實用技能的書呆子。
同樣,簡要梳理思路后,蔡蔡補充一些相關表達供大家參考。
承認對立面好
Admittedly/Granted, 對立面have some merits which deserve some words here./I am not denying the significance of 對立面
稍加解釋對立面優(yōu)點
For instance/for example/to illustrate,...
但沒支持面好
However, compared with/in comparison with 支持面, it pales into significance.
However, its benefits are dwarfed by that of 支持面
但有潛在弊端
However, its seemingly beneficial aspects may turn out to be defective, even destructive.
However, overemphasis on 對立面 may result in some undesirable consequences.
托福寫作展開段落編不下去怎么辦
在雅思寫作中編例子這個活兒稍微編不好就跑題還不討考官的喜,換種方式考官還是不滿意,那么同學在TOEFL寫作的時候為了展開段落編例子編不下去怎么辦呢?
那就不編了,我們換種方式。請follow我的腳步,我們一起來看看
首先,請各位記住一個公式:a+= b+/ b-/a+
“老師,這不是數(shù)學么?啥意思啊” let me explain
若段內(nèi)展開時你想說a好,那么你可以先寫a的對立面b不錯,但是并不用展開討論,這時候馬上說b的不好,論證結束時說顯然,還是a最好。 通過“對比說理”來完成你的文章。好,下面我們來舉個例子說明。
First, allowing children to make decisionson their own can strengthen the bonds. Sure, restricting children’s behaviorcan work like a charm to some extent, but if parents overstep, chances are thekid would end up frustrated and upset. However, things could be totally theopposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their ownheart. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up andnext time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.
解析:
這個段落當中,不難發(fā)現(xiàn)t.s.句:結論前置,允許孩子自己做決策可以加強和父母之間的情感紐帶。這其實就是我們的a+,那么下面由sure,引導b+,誠然限制孩子的行為也能起作用(注意請記下語料:work like a charm 起作用),不用展開馬上轉(zhuǎn)回,然而這樣做父母可能過度干涉孩子的隱私,導致孩子沮喪壓抑。說完我們的b-之后 however連接,然而還是a更好,如果孩子可以追求自己的路,追尋自己的內(nèi)心的話,事情將會適得其反。他們會被信任而且問題出現(xiàn)時,孩子更愿意與父母溝通,敞開心扉。由此,我們可以清晰的看見本文的邏輯思路即:b+/b-/a+。全文并沒有通過舉例例證來展開文章,而是通過對比說理來展開。好,那么這段寫到這里能得到滿分么?No,no,no,還沒這么簡單。本段缺失了大量的細節(jié),比如家長如何overstep?孩子為什么frustrated?孩子追尋怎么選擇自己的路怎么追尋了內(nèi)心呢?為什么她們更愿意敞開心扉呢?這些細節(jié),都沒有在全文展開。也就是說,邏輯思維成立,但缺失細節(jié),我們的文章也拿不到高分。
好,那如何展開細節(jié)呢?請小伙伴們讀讀下面的修改版段落(注意:請各位同學讀的過程中有意識的把細節(jié)用不同的顏色筆畫出來~~and 記住好的語言表達!!)
First, allowing children to make decisions on their own can strengthen the bonds.Sure, restricting children’s behavior can work like a charm to some extent, but it is not uncommon to spot generation gap around, where children refuse to share stuff with their parents. To trace back causes, parents are sometimes to blame. When parents prevent children from every activity that they think may cause harm, what message does it send to teenagers? They cannot be trusted and their parents have no faith in them. It is especially true for rebellious adolescents. They want to break free, hoping voices to be heard and actions to be understood. If parents fail to see that and overstep, chances are the kid would end up frustrated and upset. However,things could be totally the opposite if children are allowed to choose their own path and follow their own heart. When children get a say in choosing what kind of college major to pursue or choosing what kind of friends to hang outwith, they will feel that they’d being treated as adults. A sense of trust will build up, and they are more likely to open up and next time when problems show up they’d turn to parents for help.
解析:
紅色字體的內(nèi)容你能看出來是誰的細節(jié)么?
Yes, 就是overstep和frustrated的細節(jié)! 父母怎么干涉的? 父母限制了所有可能對孩子有害的社交活動,孩子不被信任,父母對他們沒有信息。那么孩子呢?需要自由,需要自己的聲音被別人聽到,行為被別人理解(如果都沒有,他們最終崩潰)。滿滿的都是細節(jié)啊!
其次,孩子怎么追尋道路,如何遵從內(nèi)心呢? 孩子選擇了專業(yè)和選擇了朋友這就是細節(jié)啊!so,第二段滿滿的細節(jié)各位,你看懂了么?
托福寫作解析:容易出現(xiàn)的5個問題
1、詞序問題
尤其是副詞的位置。因為有時候修飾詞位于句子中的位置不同,會引起句子的含義的變化。所以為了減少誤解和不必要的錯誤,考生在下筆的時候要注意詞序問題,句首、句中、句末要仔細斟酌。
2、詞匯搭配
很常見的問題,就是考生寫的句子,如果一個一個拆開來看單個的單詞都沒問題,整句句子可能就會產(chǎn)生問題了。舉個最簡單的例子:The price of the ticket is very cheap. 其實問題說到底還是沒有轉(zhuǎn)化語言思維,依然是中文翻英文。中文我們習慣表達票子價格很便宜,而英文里面對應price的是high 和 low,這里就出現(xiàn)了詞匯搭配問題。所以考生們平時記憶單詞的時候,一定要注意它的用法,看一些例句加深理解。
3、各種不一致
比如性數(shù)配合不一致,主謂不一致,時態(tài)不一致等等。這里就不多加舉例了。
4、指代不清
這是寫作中最為常見的問題。歸根結底,還是在于考生以中文思路對待英語作文,習慣性地把中文翻譯成英文,所以最終出現(xiàn)了指代不清這一常見問題。舉個最簡單的例子,Many parents have cute girls, and they like to stay with each other.這里的they就是指代不清,究竟是many parents還是cute girls?其實這只是一個很簡單的例子,很多時候沒有那么明顯的指代不清。尤其是當考生喜歡用常常的定語從句的時候,指代不清的現(xiàn)象就更為突出。比如which的指代,究竟是指代前面的一個名詞,還是整句句子,考生在這一點上要尤為關注。
5、冗長、累贅
考生有時候覺得使用一些同義替換會給文章增添色彩。誠然這是對的,但是有時候考生過度地使用一些詞匯,使得文章看起來比較冗長和累贅。比如:有時候使用As a matter of fact還不如使用Actually來得簡潔??忌袝r候?qū)τ趶木湟蕾嚦潭冗^多,有時候可以用一個形容詞代替的就不要使用定語從句。
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