BEC中級(jí)作文從點(diǎn)評(píng)中提升寫作水平
寫作一直都是bec考試的一個(gè)難點(diǎn)，為了幫助大家備考，下面小編給大家分享一下BEC中級(jí)作文從點(diǎn)評(píng)中提升寫作水平，希望能幫到你們！
BEC中級(jí)作文從點(diǎn)評(píng)中提升寫作水平
近年來報(bào)考的學(xué)生數(shù)明顯大幅上升。當(dāng)然要得高分也不易，尤其是作文部分，由于BEC中級(jí)作文和我們傳統(tǒng)的作文考試題要求相差較大，學(xué)生比較難以適應(yīng)。很多考生對(duì)于BEC中級(jí)作文不知道如何下筆，主要原因在于平時(shí)的練習(xí)太少，腦子里也沒有一定量的句型可用。下面是兩篇范文和詳細(xì)的點(diǎn)評(píng)，說不定也能發(fā)現(xiàn)自己練習(xí)時(shí)的問題。
首先一點(diǎn)，我們必須牢記，歸根結(jié)底，BEC作文考察的還是考生英語(yǔ)表達(dá)能力。所以學(xué)生并不需要擔(dān)心自己缺乏這方面的實(shí)際經(jīng)驗(yàn)是否會(huì)影響考場(chǎng)發(fā)揮。(順便提一句，BEC高級(jí)對(duì)商務(wù)知識(shí)的要求大大提高，因此考生要在語(yǔ)言功底上苦下功夫。比如說，寫商務(wù)報(bào)告的固定格式必須牢記在心。)
PART ONE
You have been informed that next Wednesday your company's computer system will be closed down so that improvements can be made.
Write an email to all staff in your department:
? saying what time on Wednesday the system will be closed down
? suggesting how staff should prepare for this
? saying how the system will be better after the improvements
Write 40--50 words
學(xué)生作文：
From: Jenny Xu
To: All Staff
Date: 5 April 2009
Subject: Computer System
I want to tell you that our Intranet based on Linux will be closed next Wednesday at 10 o’clock.. I want to suggesting that you should save all your important documents. The computer system will be faster because we will use a newer SAP system. The new system is according to ISO900 and we will benefit from that.
作文解析：
BEC中級(jí)作文解答時(shí)，審題非常重要。題目中給出的要求就好比是解代數(shù)題中已知條件，都要用到。小作文處理的時(shí)候，大家不妨可以把每一個(gè)已知條件擴(kuò)寫成一句句句子，同時(shí)兼顧句子之間的連接。
通常學(xué)生犯的錯(cuò)誤是：
1. 漏掉題中給出的已知條件。
2. 給出的已知條件沒有表達(dá)清楚，用詞過于口語(yǔ)化，沒有條理，暴露出語(yǔ)言功底薄弱。
3. 切忌過于花哨的發(fā)揮，多說多錯(cuò)。
這篇學(xué)生的作品是比較典型的案例。作者有一定的英語(yǔ)表達(dá)能力和工作經(jīng)驗(yàn)，但文章中所暴露出來的不足也是明顯的。寫作不能從細(xì)處下筆，而是先要搭建框架。
以這篇習(xí)文為例，作者在具體語(yǔ)言的表達(dá)的雕琢上可圈可點(diǎn)，比如說第一個(gè)句子中based on引導(dǎo)的過去分詞做后置定語(yǔ)，但是顯而忘記了這篇文章的主要目的，那就是通知同事公司電腦系統(tǒng)要升級(jí)，但update這個(gè)詞始終沒有在文章中出現(xiàn)，因此讀下來以后，可能同事還不是非常清楚，為什么computer system will be closed down, 盡管后面提到了improvement，總讓人覺得有些如鯁在咽，言之不盡;因此，思路不清晰是這篇習(xí)文最大的問題。
此外，本文還有以下一些問題：
1. 有些用詞過于口語(yǔ)化，比如說，文章開頭, I want to tell you, 文中you should save這樣的用語(yǔ);
2. 建議Linux, 將SAP, ISO900等唬人術(shù)語(yǔ)統(tǒng)統(tǒng)除去，誠(chéng)然BEC涉及到基本的商務(wù)知識(shí)，但是真正考核的還是語(yǔ)言功底，語(yǔ)用能力;商務(wù)知識(shí)好比是蓋澆飯里面的小炒而已。
3.里面還有一個(gè)明顯的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，I want to suggesting….，當(dāng)然閱卷者不會(huì)刻意去搜尋語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，而是綜合考量語(yǔ)法得分，但由于小作文篇幅較短，那么這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤就顯得非常明顯。
范文：
Please be informed that our computer system will be closed next Wednesday at 12 o'clock for system upgrade. The closure will last for at least two hours. Make sure that you have saved all your documents before that time. The whole system will run on a new server, much faster than the current one.
PART TWO
You work for PJT Ltd, a manufacturing company. You need more staff in your department and your line manager has asked you to write a report explaining why.
Look at the information below, on which you have already made some handwritten notes.Then, using all your handwritten notes, write your report.
Write 120-140 words.
學(xué)生作文：
The purpose of this report is to explain why we need more staff in our department.
We compare the number of staff in our department between 2001 and 2003, it only increased five staff. But the average number of ordered units grow up from 200000 to 400000 between 2001 and 2003.
Our sales department has announced a big new order from an international company recently. It will bring us much more workload. And the annual holiday increased to 5 weeks per year. That means that we have more workload and less working days.
If we had more staff the order should be on time. We should save our company’s reputation. And the workflow will be improved.
作文解析：
BEC中級(jí)大作文題型一般以寫報(bào)告、書信為主，因此，這些必考問題的具體格式必須掌握。英文商務(wù)報(bào)告的格式有五個(gè)部分組成，其中包括報(bào)告的 Subject, Introduction (This report aims/sets out to……)，F(xiàn)indings (it was found that)， Conclusions(It was decided/agreed/felt that……)， Recommendations (It is suggested that…..) 括號(hào)中是每段開頭固定的表達(dá)方式，考生不宜自己去創(chuàng)造。同樣寫信也有格式化的表達(dá)方式，再此恕不展開。 和第一部分一樣，大作文的寫作審題是第一步，所有給出的已知條件必須用足。
本文中出現(xiàn)的問題：
1.考生的習(xí)文字?jǐn)?shù)恰當(dāng)。但沒有把報(bào)告應(yīng)有的四個(gè)部分寫完整，這將導(dǎo)致大量失分。在以上的習(xí)文中，考生表現(xiàn)出了不錯(cuò)的語(yǔ)言駕馭能力。
2.在審題上還有一些欠缺，比如 Another reason for more staff is that we will have fewer delays. 在題目中給出的已知條件中，有一份客戶的投訴信件，應(yīng)當(dāng)作為佐證被引用，否則order should be on time無從談起。
3.除了沒有按照?qǐng)?bào)告的固定格式外，考生語(yǔ)言太隨意。比如說，our sales department has announced a big new order，沒有出處，而根據(jù)文章中給出的已知條件，這是公司Newsletter所通告的，那么根據(jù)報(bào)告的要求，應(yīng)該指出信息來源。
4.中國(guó)學(xué)生還普遍特別敏感的就是企業(yè)的信譽(yù)，因此經(jīng)常會(huì)看到學(xué)生動(dòng)輒就是喊口號(hào)的語(yǔ)言，比如說文中We should save our company’s reputation. 這樣空洞無物的話應(yīng)該避免。
5.還有就是細(xì)節(jié)處理，句子和段落之間連接忽略了。比如說，It will bring us much more workload. And the annual holiday increased to 5 weeks per year. 以及最后一句話And the workflow will be improved.其中的and 這個(gè)詞用在這里顯隨意了些，可以考慮用Meanwhile 有“禍不單行”的意思。后面的And 應(yīng)該刪除。That means that we have more workload 這里兩個(gè)that離的太近，可以考慮把后面一個(gè)去掉，同時(shí)時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)該是we will have。
范文：
Report on: More staff in our department
Date: 27.03.2004
Introduction
This report aims to explain why our department needs more staff.
Findings
Statistics show that there exists a big gap between the number of staff in our department and staff workload. While the number of ordered units grew up from only 200000 to 400000 in 2 years, the number of staff grew only by 5 people. According to the Staff Newsletter dated February 2004, we have won a big new order from an international company. That will bring us more work. At the same time, annual holiday has been increased to 5 weeks per year, meaning there won’t be enough staff for all the work. Our customer service department recently received a complaint from one of our clients about a tremendous delay in our delivery.
Conclusion
There are many reasons which explain the need of more staff. It is especially important for reducing the number of delays in delivery and to optimize the workflow.
Recommendations
More staff does not only mean more costs, it also means improved customer satisfaction.
BEC中級(jí)：商務(wù)英語(yǔ)寫作套話匯編1
商業(yè)書信常用開頭語(yǔ)
Opening Phrases & Sentences Generally Used In Business Letters
1. I will write you particulars in my next.
2. Particulars will be related in the following.
3. I will relate further details in the following.
4. I will inform you more fully in my next.
5. I will go (enter) into further details in my next.
如下列所記，如附件所述，等。
1. As stated below,
2. Annexed hereto,
3. Attached you will find...
4. As shown on the next page
5. As indicated overleaf(下頁(yè)，背面)
6. As at foot hereof,
7. Sent with this,
8. As the drawings attached,
9. As shown in the enclosed documents,
10. As already mentioned,
11. As particularized on the attached sheet,
12. As detailed in the previous letter,
BEC中級(jí)：商務(wù)英語(yǔ)寫作套話匯編2
我們盼望于近日內(nèi)接獲回信，等。
1. We hope to receive your favour at an early date.
2. We hope to be favoured with a reply with the least delay.
3. We await a good news with patience.
4. We hope to receive a favourable reply per return mail.
5. We await the pleasure of receiving a favourable reply at an early date.
6. We await the favour of your early (prompt) reply.
7. A prompt reply would greatly oblige us.
8. We trust you will favour us with an early (prompt) reply.
9. We trust that you will reply us immediately.
10. We should be obliged by your early (prompt) reply.
11. Will your please reply without delay what your wishes are in this matter?
12. Will you kindly inform us immediately what you wish us to do.
13. We request you to inform us of your decision by return of post.
14. We are awaiting (anxious to receive) your early reply.
15. We thank you for the anticipated favour of your early reply.
16. We should appreciate an early reply.
17. We thank you in anticipation of your usual courteous prompt attention.
18. We thank you now for the courtesy of your early attention.
19. We hope to receive your reply with the least possible delay.
20. Kindly reply at your earliest convenience.
21. Please send your reply by the earliest delivery.
BEC中級(jí)：商務(wù)英語(yǔ)寫作套話匯編3
請(qǐng)?jiān)徫业幕匦叛舆t……，等。
1. Please excuse my late reply to your very friendly letter of March 1.
2. I hope you will forgive me for not having written you for so long.
3. I hope you will excuse me for not having replied to you until today.
4. I humbly apologize you for my delay in answering to your kind letter of May 5.
5. I have to (must) apologize you for not answering your letter in time.
6. I must ask you to kindly accept our excuses, late as they are.
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