[純干貨]如何在短期內(nèi)提高雅思寫作

作為一個理性的雅思考試分析者來看，雅思的總分過6.5分，甚至7分并不難，而難點就在于， 在同一場考試中，四門同時過6分，更不用說同時過7分了。(各位是不是都吃過虧);那么如何在同一場考試中，保持穩(wěn)定的同時的考過四個6分(或者四個7分呢?)seems to be more of a real challenge ! 其中最關(guān)鍵的就是寫作和口語同時考過，本文主要來討論一下寫作的提分問題。

[純干貨]如何在短期內(nèi)提高雅思寫作

這個問題要分為2個層次來回答：

一， 6分以內(nèi)提高到6分：

要解決三大問題：

STEP ONE:語法問題：

這里推薦100句常見語法和20組中國考生最常見的語法修改示范，其實一位同學犯的語法錯誤，總是那幾個，比如介詞沒搞懂，那么介詞就是你永遠跨越不了的坎;如果動詞時態(tài)沒搞清楚，那么寫書信，寫大作文的例子的時候就特別容易出錯;還有,雙謂語甚至無動詞;無主語句子;時態(tài)的亂用 ;動詞搭配問題,6復合句的亂用;副詞的使用;倒裝句的亂用;后置狀語和前置狀語;主謂不一致等等，常見的錯誤也就這么多;多加提防;

這里列舉了前三組帶有解析的語法分析：

第一組：介詞短語后面不接動詞原形以及完整的句子

1. Talking too much but doing too few gives rise to make others a terrible impression.

正確形式：Talking too much but doing too few gives rise to a terrible impression.

錯誤解析：因為give rise to 是介詞短語，后面是不能接動詞的，所以必須要修改為名詞形式，直接去掉make others.

2. This above phenomenon can be explained by we change our attitudes towards the lifestyles and by we lose interests on local history of indigenous people.

正確形式：This above phenomenon can be explained by changing attitudes towards the lifestyles and by losing interests on local history of indigenous people.

錯誤解析：因為by 是介詞短語，后面是不能接動詞的，所以必須要修改為名詞形式或者動名詞形式，直接將change 和lose 改為changing 和losing.

3. When it comes to ask the questions about the clear definitions of education and career success. People always hold divergent viewpoints.

正確形式：When it comes to the clear definitions of education and career success, people always hold divergent viewpoints.

錯誤解析：因為when it comes to是介詞短語，后面是不能接動詞的，所以必須要修改為名詞形式或者動名詞形式，直接去掉ask the questions，是多余的成分。另外when 引導的只是一個從句，后面需要真正的主句進行支撐，所以要把people小寫。

4. I still fail to pass the IELTS despite I have already collected pencils with 9 kinds of colors.

正確形式：I still fail to pass the IELTS despite pencils with 9 kinds of colors I have collected together.

錯誤解析：因為despite是介詞短語，后面是不能接動詞或者句子的，可以將其修改為名詞形式或者動名詞形式，將句子：I have already collected pencils with 9 kinds of colors. 調(diào)整為：pencils with 9 kinds of colors I have collected together.

5. Many fans are crazy about love affairs of Hanhan， a well-known Chinese writer, despite they know that he is a playboy.

正確形式：Many fans are crazy about love affairs of Hanhan，a well-known Chinese writer, despite that they know that he is sometimes a playboy.

錯誤解析：因為despite是介詞短語，后面是不能接動詞或者句子的，除了可以將句子修改為名詞形式或者動名詞形式，也可以將despite 修改為：despite that . 另外韓寒并不是總是playboy,所以加上sometimes.

6. Many students refuse to give up unhealthy lifestyles despite they have understood the negatives of illhealth effects.

正確形式: Many students refuse to give up unhealthy lifestyles despite the negatives of illhealth effects.

錯誤解析：介詞不是連詞，一般后面只接名詞或者具備名詞性質(zhì)的短語或者帶連詞的賓語從句，因此不能加句子。常見錯誤有：”despite,in spite of , during, because of , due to”, 也不能后接動詞。

7. Many poor citizens always depend on the rich give support.

正確形式: Many poor citizens always depend on supports of the rich.

錯誤解析：介詞不是連詞，一般后面只接名詞或者具備名詞性質(zhì)的短語或者帶連詞的賓語從句。不能接動詞或者句子。

8. Life disorder can lead to damage an individual’s health.

正確形式: Life disorder can lead to health recession of an individual.

錯誤解析：“to”在某些情況下，(如詞組“giverise to , contribute to , pay attention to , conform to , lead to”)都是介詞短語+名詞或者動名詞。

9. Nobody could deny the importance of environment protection , for the simple reason is that it is of far-reaching significance in the future .

正確形式: Nobody could deny the importance of environment protection, for its far-reaching significance in the future.

錯誤解析：特殊的介詞，如：”for， since, after, before”在大部分時候都是介詞，不接完整的句子。

10. Individuals have different attitudes towards for the definition of happiness.

正確形式：Individuals have different attitudes towards the definition of happiness.

錯誤解析：介詞后面不能再接介詞。注意一些比較特殊的介詞如：towards。

介詞短語加了句號錯誤表達： With the society develops. people begin to realize the importance of biological balance.

正確形式：With the development of society, people begin to realize the importance of biological balance.(介詞短語不是句子，不能加句號)

11. It is advertising makes customers buysomething impulsively.

正確形式：It is advertising that makes customers buy something impulsively.

錯誤解析：因為 is 和makes 都是動詞，所以該句話有2個動詞，需要去掉一個動詞，本句中可以把makes 前面增加that,這樣后面就是定于從句了。從而該句就只有一個動詞。

12. There is a research shows thatmany parents are depend on teachers give support.

正確形式：There is a research showing that many parents are depending on teachers who give support.

錯誤解析：本句的錯誤太多，主要是謂語動詞太多，要記住一個主句只能有一個位于動詞，而一個從句也只能有一個謂語動詞。而主句中的is和show就是多一個重復了，而從句中：are ,depend, give都是動詞，而只能有一個動詞。

13. There was a famous Chinesebook describe a monkey , a pig , a sand monk and a true monk go to west forpilgrimage.

,確形式：There was a famous Chinese book describing a monkey , a pig , a sand monk and a true monk go to west for pilgrimage.

錯誤解析：要記住一個主句只能有一個謂語動詞，而一個從句也只能有一個謂語動詞。而主句中的was 和describe就是多一個重復了，需要將describe 修改為：describing 作為后置定語。

14. The number of the populationwas decreased in the 1990 to 1995, the figure of population was increased inthe years of 1996 and 2000, the data was then continue increase in the last 5years.

正確形式：The number of the population decreased in the 1990 to 1995, the figure of population increased in the years of 1996 and 2000, and the data was then continuously increasing in the last 5years.

錯誤解析：要記住一個主句只能有一個謂語動詞，而該句中的謂語動詞太多，所以需要去掉was 并且將最后一個分句中的was then continue increase 中的continue改成副詞continuously, decrease 改成was decreasing.

15. I earned the money is the least.

正確形式：I earned the least money.或者my income was the least.

16. I was a wolf come from Nanjing.

正確形式：I was a wolf coming from Nanjing.

17. Now there are always many new things come out every day.

正確形式：Now there are always many new things coming out every day.

18. 謂語動詞：

錯誤表達:There have many people believe that mobile phones are useful.

正確表達：There are many people who believe that mobile phones are useful.

錯誤解析：(不存在There have的形式，而且There be結(jié)構(gòu)后不能再加謂語動詞。)

第三組：逗號不能夠連接2個完整的句子

19. There are plenty ofuniversities in China , most of that are not good enough.

正確形式：There are plenty of universities in China , most of which are not good enough. There are plenty of universities in China and most of that are not good enough. / There are plenty of universities in China; most of that are not good enough. /There are plenty of universities in China .Most of which are not good enough.

錯誤解析： 逗號不能連接2個完整的句子。所以需要將其中一個句子變成從句，或者使用分號或者句號來代替逗號。

20. I cry , you cry.

正確形式：I cry; you cry. / I cry and you cry. / I cry. You cry.

21. We all tried our best,however, we lost the game.

正確形式：We all tried our best. However, we lost the game./ We all tried our best; however, we lost the game.

錯誤解析：即使是however,也不能連接前后都是完整的句子，因為however是副詞，只有and 和but 這2個連接詞才可以連接2個完整的句子。

22. China has achieved great prosperity ,however ,its culture suffered a lot.

正確形式：China has achieved great prosperity .However ,its culture suffered a lot./China has achieved great prosperity; however,its culture suffered a lot.

錯誤解析：注意這點和單獨的however, 將一個句子的主語和謂語動詞隔開的句子有本質(zhì)的區(qū)別。比如：students, however, always expect their high praise from parents and teachers. 該句中是一個句子，所以可以用however 將主語和謂語分開。

23. They always feel boring about visiting some places where they are no fresh and no extremely attractive talking points， therefore, local museums and historical sites cannot be drawn into much discussion as they are without cartoons, movie stars and sports.

正確形式：They always feel boring about visiting some places where they are no fresh and no extremely attractive talking points.Therefore, local museums and historical sites cannot be drawn into much discussion as they are without cartoons, movie stars and sports.

錯誤解析： 注意 therefore, on the other hand, on the contrary 這些類似的詞組或者副詞都是副詞成分，并不能連接前后都是完整的句子。所以需要修改為：將逗號改為句號或者分號。

24. Student s are always tired of sitting in the classroom for a whole morning, thus show their resentment with the current teaching method.

正確形式：Student s are always tired of sitting in the classroom for a whole morning, and thus show their resentment with the current teaching method.

錯誤解析：thus 照樣是插入語，是副詞成分，不是連接詞，所以不能連接前后都是完整的句子。

2. STEP TWO:

當語法沒有問題的時候，(260字的大作文+小作文150字)總共語法錯誤不超過5個，這個要求不高吧?一般是要么錯一大片，要么就懂了，然后就好很多。

然后就是要解決另外一個很核心的問題，就是細化思維的問題;

通過細化思維來將題目進行有邏輯的流暢展開，并且的確是展開話題用的，是寫作得分的關(guān)鍵。

當考官看到類似，萬能開頭：With the development of...的時候，想必一定會皺眉頭。 “也許只有中國人會用吧。那為什么像類似的開篇：with the development of society and economy, there are more and more//increasing number of //， the topic is a hotly-debated one, which arose our passion towards the…, 然后再寫一波大的背景，然后開始寫作文切入的話題，這種思路嚴重破壞了雅思作文的評分標準(CC) 連貫性的問題。所以作文的開篇就必須要是直接切入話題(通過細化思維的描述，然后表明自己的觀點即可。)

中文追求高語境文化容易宏觀化一些概念，也就是很大很空的話，類似于“新聞聯(lián)播”的發(fā)言稿。高中的作文的時候，寫的越大，不接地氣，越云里霧里的文章，越能拿高分。這些華麗的軀殼并沒有嚴謹?shù)倪壿?。所以細化思維的訓練是非常重要的訓練，這個也可以從很多劍橋雅思后面的范文中可以看到。

所以英文寫作一定要細，要寫清楚。有多細呢?我舉個例子。比如一篇金錢和幸福的關(guān)系，優(yōu)秀的英文邏輯就是：“有了錢我可以買車，有了車生活會更方便，生活方便了我的幸福指數(shù)就會提高?！睙o懈可擊的邏輯，perfect!然而中國人有可能會這樣寫："Being rich could boost one's materialistic happiness. Moreover, it could..."語法單詞基本都沒問題，但是寫了等于沒寫。。。什么是materialistic happiness?我們都知道中文是物質(zhì)幸福，看似也很高大上。然而西方人的人腦回路是無法直接get到的。。你必須要clarify it。這些所謂很好并且很復雜的想法并不足以說清楚這些觀點。所以大家要記得要將自己的理性和智商同步下降，這樣才能達到英國人的水平和高度。

舉例說明如下：

細化思維的訓練中文擅長把一個抽象的問題變得更抽象，以大見更大;英文擅長把一個抽象的問題變得具體化

例子一：Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

4.5分的思維： Nowdays (竟然有人少寫了個 a) ,with society develops, advertisements plays a more and more important role in modern society.

5.5分的思維： Nowadays, with the development of society and economy, advertisements play a more and more important role in modern society. Some people said they are helpful to give us much information while others do not think so. From my perspective, I think ….

6.5分的思維： Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the streets. While someone doubt the usefulness and value of advertisements, I still believe it is a positive trend with overt benefits.

7.5分的思維： Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the billboards. Some people think that the advertising boosts the sales of goods and it encourages people to buy things unnecessarily. These arguments may be true. In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous and popular actors or singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their favorite singer advertise, although they do not really need the products.

8.5分的思維： Nowadays, no matter where you get around in a city or even in the countryside, it is pretty easy for you to find one or two billboards introducing products in the streets. Some people think that advertising boosts the sales of goods and encourages people to buy things they do not necessarily need. This argument contains some truth. In my country, advertising companies often produce advertisements featuring popular actors or singers to induce people, especially youngsters, to acquire goods which their favorite actor or singer seems to endorse, whether they need the products or not..

細化訓練(例子二) In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

4.5---5 分的思維

It is a well-acknowledged that studying is not easy. Along with many benefits also comes negative aspects. We should look at both side before reaching a conclusion about wether working a year bring more benefits or more problems.

5.5—6分的思維

Nowadays, the ways to educate the youth become increasingly significant in such a competitive society. The opinion that teenagers could have a year free from school for traveling and work arouse a heated debate. Although there are both pros and cons for the question, ,my view is that teenagers who are 10 something to 20 something could have their own choice to decide where to learn and how to learn.

6分的思維

It is hard for young people to make the decision on whether they should work or travel before starting university studies. Some consider it is an excellent chance for them to practice themselves while others believe that it will produce adverse effects on their life.

6.5-7分的思維

Thanks to the gap year, nowadays high school graduates can be highly praised by their strong abilities. While many young people are in favor of the attempt, older generation tends to hold conservative attitudes. Personally, I believe different types of media have their respective merits.

It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

附上一篇關(guān)于考官范文的解析：

就是在沒有語法錯誤的前提下，通過細化思維和批判性思維進行寫作的典范;

第一篇： 抽象類話題分析：

題目：As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work， job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction?How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

題干分析:本題是相對抽象的社會生活類話題，對于中學生以及沒有上過班的大學生同學們有一定話題上的陌生感。但是即使是上班的“同志們”就一定覺得題目容易展開嗎?是的，中國人的答案在面對這個題目的時候是驚人的相似，可以預見，大家的答案往往是：money, power, promotion。這些對于工作滿意度的factors的回答本身是沒有問題的，但是難點在于不要忽視了去解釋和補充我們“為什么把這些元素”看的比較重的原因?；卮鸬膬?nèi)容本身并不重要，但重要的是如何解釋清楚。

Nowadays many adults (直接用adults 是細化思維的體現(xiàn)，不要只是寫people,使句子更貼話題)have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent doing such jobs is very high. (首句不要寫太長的背景，要從第一句話就開始描述這個話題，而不是“with the development of society and economy , there is a hotly-debated topic about whether or not …這樣的套話，是注定讓你丟分的，接下來將變成一個考官驗證5分或者5.5分的過程。那為什么不能寫模板呢?這樣的句子本身的質(zhì)量不是很好?威廉老師告訴你，是因為背景寫的太大，緊接著就跳入非常具體的話題，這樣嚴重破壞了作文的CC(連貫性)這一評分標準)。So feelings about one’s job must reflect how an individual feels about his or her life as a whole， and because of this， job satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person. (順接的很自然)高手應(yīng)該做到讓段落的內(nèi)容的話題的范文不要太寬，要盡量克制寫很多內(nèi)容的沖動。你有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)，當你從第一句就開始寫這個話題，從寫成年人的工作對于成年人很重要的前提下，自然就過渡到了“工作滿意度“的話題，因為話題窄，所以很容易構(gòu)成有邏輯)。

Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.(羅列式中心句，就表明接下來會有幾個具體的方面需要具體展開)Firstly， a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work， so positive feedback from superiors is very important in this respect. A sense of fulfillment is also(also 體現(xiàn)遞進，內(nèi)在的邏輯) encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to the society or the economy as a whole. (先接結(jié)果后寫原因是高分作文特征之一，這樣能有效避免觀點跳躍)Secondly， when someone feels they are improving or developing their skills through training opportunities，(很細節(jié)，并且符合邏輯的觀點，也許沒有工作經(jīng)驗的同學不能夠想到)for example， then there is a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker. The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also(遞進詞，體現(xiàn)內(nèi)在的邏輯)contributes to job satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives.(先寫結(jié)果，后寫原因是高分作文的特征之一)Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team.

該段落使用羅列式中心句，并且細化思維做的很好。在一個段落中就出現(xiàn)了：“valued and valuable work，positive feedback from superiors，A sense of fulfillment，contributes to the society or the economy，improving or developing their skills，training opportunities，a sense of progression and purpose，sense of belonging to a team or a working community，colleagues help each other，a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team 這樣的10個對于factors 的具體回答，并且能夠有效的能將這些細節(jié)名詞進行有邏輯的串聯(lián)的確是高分的作文的體現(xiàn))所以觀點本身并不是最關(guān)鍵的因素，比如中國人通常所認為的：A reasonable income is quite an important contributing factor because some basic survival necessities are highly prices such as housing, cars and dressings and the social welfare system is not fully accomplished. 只要解釋充分，話題的答案本身就不是最重要的了。)

Of course not everyone enjoys their work. (直接式的中心句，直接對于第二個問題給予回答)Hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get. (進一步解釋)In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality.(分類解釋)Some jobs are repetitive and boring，and labor relations may be poor and lead to resentment and insecurity rather than to job satisfaction. (進一步的細化思維)

優(yōu)秀的英文段落結(jié)構(gòu)就像“瀑布“一樣，往細化的方向不斷的展開，可以采取分組，解釋等方法，先明確的給出”對于問題回答的中心句，即先寫中心句，然后進行進一步展開的倒過來的細化展開的方式，而具有諷刺的是，中國學生的答案往往在段落的中間就開始不斷的上升話題，從而產(chǎn)生很大的跳躍，習慣于用：which will contribute to …//Ving 上升主題，最終達到聯(lián)系到了“推動經(jīng)濟發(fā)展，維護社會和諧”的最終主題( drive the economic development and maintain social harmony),殊不知，這樣嚴重破壞了句子和句子之間的邏輯和連貫度。

However， even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work， I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.(典型的批判性思維的讓步句型，有承上啟下的作用。是8分作文最重要的特征之一，從而使句子銜接變得特別到位) If the factors identified above are implemented， then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction. (批判性思維)。

總體點評：這是篇題目本身非常抽象的題目，經(jīng)過作者的細化思維的一步步展開，讓我們對于“工作滿意度”這一抽象問題有的較為具體的認識，但更重要的是作者將每一個要展開的分論點都進一步的解釋和分析是得到高分最重要的原因。另外最后一段(even though, it is not unrealistic 這樣的批判性思維能極大的提高CC連貫度)。

雅思大作文：children and teenagers are committing more crimes

雅思大作文題目：In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes of the phenomenon? How should they be punished?

作文范文：

Youth crime contributes significantly to the increasing crime rate in the modern society. There is no doubt that these young delinquents take their punishment, but I prefer in different ways.

In China with the economy booming, pressure from competition at work and business force parents to work hard, leaving insufficient time to their children. Without enough love from the family, these adolescents tend to do something astounding, sometimes slip beyond control. In addition, the one child policy in my country also contributes to higher crime rate because these little “emperors” are brought up in such a way that some of them are self-centered and tolerant of little. When confronted with difficulties or injustice, they are prone to resort to violence.

When teenagers commit crimes, surely penalty should be given, especially the youth who commit serious crimes such as homicide or rape. No one should be excluded from justice, and justice has to be served. Depriving criminals of their freedom by imprisoning them, no matter how old they are, is the most effective measure to prevent crime and protect the lawful civilians in the society. Violent teenagers are as dangerous as their mature counterparts, hence should be put behind bars until they are no longer a threat to the public security.

On the other hand, most teenager crimes are minor, like vandalism, fighting or theft which does not do serious harm to victims. The immature behave in an illegal but less violent manner mostly for fun, or to show their courage to impress their peers or to attract their busy parents’ eyes. In these cases, they should be given some opportunities to be corrected and eventually come back to the right track rather than being judged as adults who commit crime deliberately with full awareness of the consequences of their conduct. Instead of being jailed, young lawbreakers can be forced to repair the damage to their neighborhood or local community, and offer their sincere apology to the victims or do some community duties such as serving the elderly in local nursing home.

To sum up, I personally reckon that political policy and the utilitarianism of educators should be responsible for today’s increasing juvenile delinquency. I agree with harsh treatment under the circumstances of serious crime, but if the offence is not major, adolescent criminals should be given alternative punishments.

雅思大作文：human activity has negative effect on animal species

雅思大作文題目：Human activity has negative effect on plant animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything. Some people believe that effective act be taken to improve this solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

作文題目：

Environmental degradation is a great challenge that we need to overcome in the 21st century. Although many people realize the significance of environmental protection, they hardly take initiative to implement changes. It is important to focus on why this happens and how to improve the situation.

This phenomenon is mainly attributed to the poor publicity and the lack of governmental guidance. For a great number of people, protecting the environment is just a slogan on banners, or even propaganda for officials to gain political advantages. They hardly realize how grave this problem is for mankind, such as how quickly the sea level is rising, or how fast our energy is being depleted. As a result, they do not have the motivation to save water, or drive less to reduce carbon emission.

Besides, governments in some regions fail to establish a mechanism or provide facilities to encourage citizens' environmental-friendly practices. For instance, in many cities, people cannot find garbage cans for recyclable rubbish such as glass bottles or plastic bags. This is actually officially implying that garbage classification is not important, eventually discouraging people from disposing rubbish correctly.

The situation would be improved if proper measures were taken. First, the government and environmental organizations should impress upon the public by providing detailed information of environment degradation. Documentaries and advertisements should be made and broadcast on TV and the internet, telling people that their home will be flooded if they turn a blind eye to global warming, or there is a strong correlation between developing cancer and air pollution. Governments should also encourage low-carbon lifestyle by improving public transportation, and cutting tax for purchasing cars powered by clean energy. These measures will eventually change people's lifestyle, making environment protection deeply rooted in their daily life.

In conclusion, the causes of this phenomenon are mainly at the governmental level, so as long as the authorities attach importance to improving the situation, individual initiative can be promoted effectively.

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