簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話1：
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
丹在一個(gè)大城市的某個(gè)俱樂(lè)部當(dāng)守門(mén)人。每天都有數(shù)千人經(jīng)過(guò)他的門(mén)口，而且許多人都會(huì)停下來(lái)問(wèn)他:“請(qǐng)問(wèn)現(xiàn)在幾點(diǎn)?”
幾個(gè)月后，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問(wèn)題了，我要去買(mǎi)一只大鐘，把它掛在這兒的墻上。”于是他買(mǎi)了一只鐘，把它掛在了墻上。
“現(xiàn)在人們總不會(huì)再停下來(lái)問(wèn)我時(shí)間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以后，每天仍有許多人停下來(lái)，看看鐘，然后問(wèn)丹:“這鐘準(zhǔn)嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話2：
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個(gè)大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。
-- 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
簡(jiǎn)短的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話3：
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
一個(gè)已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”
在女朋友再三請(qǐng)求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說(shuō)道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來(lái)了。”
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