英語經(jīng)典幽默故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)斫?jīng)典幽默英語故事四則，希望大家喜歡!

　　經(jīng)典幽默英語故事：你會(huì)省得更多

　　"You will he pleased with me today. mother.” said Dick to his mother, home from school. "I go to school by bus 1 ran all the way after it.

　　“媽媽，你今天一定會(huì)對(duì)我滿意的。”迪克放學(xué)回家后對(duì)媽媽說:“我省一F了車錢。我上學(xué)時(shí)沒乘公共汽車，而是跟著公共汽車一路跑到學(xué)校的。”

　　“Well,” said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi，you will save much more.”

　　“哦。”他媽媽笑著說，“下次你跟在出租汽車后面跑，那會(huì)省得更多。”

　　經(jīng)典幽默英語故事：骨灰

　　Here' s a true story related to me by my mother, which she says happened to one of her neighbors in a Venezuelan oil camp in the 50’s:It seems that a certain woman kept the ashes of her dearly departed father in a silver box on a table. One day，after not having looked at her "father" for a long time, she opened the box and was horrified to discover it was nearly empty! Furious, she accosted the maid and demanded to know," have you touched this box'?" Whereupon the maid protested "I didn’t think you’d mind! After all，it’s very poor duality snuff.”

　　這是我媽媽給我講的一個(gè)真實(shí)的故事。故事發(fā)生在50年代的委內(nèi)委瑞拉油田，她的一個(gè)鄰居的家里。有一個(gè)女人一直都留著自己已故的親愛父親的骨灰，并把它放進(jìn)一個(gè)銀盒子里擺在桌子上。一天，由于很久都沒看看自己的“爸爸”了，她便打開了盒子，卻驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)盒子里面是空的二她吼來了女傭，想知道到底是怎么回事，‘你碰過這個(gè)盒子嗎?”女傭辯解道:“我不知道你會(huì)生氣，說真的，那鼻煙的質(zhì)量可真差。”

　　經(jīng)典幽默英語故事：醫(yī)生的笑話

　　A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. Hegoes into a staff meeting to discuss the day’s activities, when a co一worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear. In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, "Damn，some asshole has my pen!”

　　一位醫(yī)生耳朵上夾了一支直腸溫度計(jì)開始了一天的工作。他去會(huì)議室討論今天的工作。一位同事問他為什么在耳朵上夾一支溫度計(jì)，他憤怒的抓下溫度計(jì)，一邊看一邊說:“該死的，哪個(gè)人的肛門里一定塞著我的鋼筆。”

　　經(jīng)典幽默英語故事：三個(gè)心愿

　　A poor little lonely old lady lived in a house with only her cat as a friend. One day, the lights went out as she sat knitting; she had been unable to pay the electric bill. So, she went up to the suit and got an old oil lamp from her childhood. As she rubbed it clean a genie appeared and allowed her three wishes.

　　一個(gè)窮困而孤苦伶仃的老太太和她的貓住在一間房子里。一天.她正坐椅子上織毛衣，可燈卻熄滅了。因?yàn)樗呀徊黄痣婂X了。于是她走到閣樓_匕找出了一只小時(shí)候用的油燈。當(dāng)她擦拭油燈的時(shí)候，一個(gè)妖怪出現(xiàn)了，要幫她實(shí)現(xiàn)三個(gè)心愿。

　　"First, I want to be so rich I never have to worry about money again.”

　　“首先，我想變得很有錢，再也不用為錢擔(dān)心了。”

　　"Second, I want to be young and beautiful again.”

　　“然后，我想再變回到年輕時(shí)那漂亮的樣子。”

　　"And Last，I want you to change my little cat into a handsome prince.”

　　“最后，我想讓我的貓變成一位英俊瀟灑的王子。”

　　*POOF*

　　璞!

　　As the smoke cleared she saw she was surrounded by big bags of coins, and that in the mirror was a young beautiful woman. She turned as the handsome prince walked in the door, held her in his arms and said, "Now I'11 bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation.”

　　隨著一陣煙霧漫漫散開，她看見自己的周圍都是大袋子的錢幣，鏡子里照出的是一位年青漂亮的女人，在她轉(zhuǎn)身的時(shí)候，那位英俊的王子走到了門前，將她抱入懷中，對(duì)她說:“現(xiàn)在我敢打賭，你一定為把我送到獸醫(yī)那里做這個(gè)小手術(shù)而感到后悔。”