英語小笑話帶翻譯短一些
英語小笑話帶翻譯短一些
冷笑話是近幾年才出現(xiàn)的新興語言現(xiàn)象，它以網(wǎng)絡(luò)為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現(xiàn)形式，主要流傳于網(wǎng)頁，微博，貼吧等。小編精心收集了短一些英語小笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短一些英語小笑話帶翻譯：三個修道士
There were three pious monks. These monks were so pious，in fact，that the head abbot decided one day to reward their devotion by granting them each one day of sin，on the condition that they confess their activities to him at the end of the day.
有三個虔誠的修道士，他們非常的虔誠，以至于修道院院長決定，在他們愿意交待一天的所作所為的條件下，允許他們每個人犯一回戒，以示對他們虔誠的獎勵。
So，the day come，and the three monks went off into the night to indulge in all manner of sin.
所以，當(dāng)這天夜色來臨的時候三個修道土就趁著夜色下山去犯戒去了。
The first monk sauntered in at 1:00 in the morning, and tried to sneak upstairs to bed. But the head abbot，who was waiting up for the three，stopped him and demanded that he relate his doings.
第一個修道士在凌晨一點(diǎn)的時候悄悄地回來了，他想偷偷的上樓睡覺去，但是正在等待三人的院長叫住了他，問他都干了什么。
"No, head abbot，”the first monk said，"it’s too evil for me to admit!”
“沒干什么，院長”，第一個修道士說，“對于我來說那太壞了，我不能說出來!”
"'The deal was for you to tell me everything you did，otherwise you will not receive absolution!” said the abbot.
“說好的，你告訴我所有你千的事情，否則不能免你的罪!”院長說。
So the first monk agreed to tell what he did. "I-I-I drank! And I did all manner of drugs! And 1 smoked marijuana, cocaine and. . .”
第一個修道士就同意說出他干了什么。“我，我，我喝酒了!我吸了各種各樣的毒品!我吸了大麻、可卡因、還有……”
"Enough!”said the head abbot，enraged. "Those are evil sins, but I promised to forgive you. Go out back，drink some Holy Water, say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”
“夠了!”院長生氣地說，“那些太罪過了，但是我曾許諾原諒你，回去喝一些圣水，然后祈禱，早上就會被原諒的。”
The first monk thankfully went off to follow the abbot’s instructions.
第一個修道士感激地走了，他去按照院長的指示去做了。
The second monk wandered in at 2:00 AM. "What did you do last night?" demanded the head abbot.
第二個修道士在凌晨兩點(diǎn)的時候回來。“你昨晚做了什么?”院長問。
"I can’t say! It's much too evil!”
“我不能說!那太罪惡了!”
"The agreement was that you must tell me everything you did!”
“我們說好的，你必須告訴我!”
"Okay，”agreed the second monk." I had all kinds of meat. l had port，beef ,chicken，horse,and even a dog...”
“好吧”，第二個修道士說，“我吃了各種各樣的肉。有豬肉、牛肉、雞肉、馬肉、甚至還吃了狗肉……”
Enough!” cried the head abbot. "That is a truly great sin. But I promised to give you absolution. Go out back and drink some Holy Water. “Then say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”
“夠了!”院長大叫道:“那真是太罪過了。但是我曾許諾原諒你。回去喝一些圣水，然后祈禱，早上就會被原諒的。”
The second monk sauntered off to do just that.
第二個修道士按照院長所說的去做了。
And the third and final monk crawled in at 3:00 in the morning.
第三個修道士最終在凌晨三點(diǎn)的時候回來了。
"What ," asked the head abbot, "did you do this evening?"
院長問:“你昨晚干了什么?”
"No, head abbot, it's too great a sin to admit. I cannot tell!"
“不，院長，那太罪惡了，我不能說!”
"The agreement, monk! You must tell me!"
“修道士，別忘了我們事先說好的。你必須告訴我!”
The third monk bowed his head and nodded. "All right, head abbot. Last night I…I…"
第三個修道士低下他的頭說:“好吧院長，我說，昨天晚上我，我……”
"Yes?"
“怎么樣了?”
"I pissed in the Holy Water."
“我在圣水里撒了尿!”
短一些英語小笑話帶翻譯：春季種植
The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.
一位將軍因?yàn)橐稽c(diǎn)小病在一所軍隊(duì)醫(yī)院里接受治療。整整一周他都在挑刺找麻煩，這使醫(yī)院的工作人員和病友們對他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每個命令都要得到執(zhí)行。他住在一個六人病房里，他的飯不能是涼的，也不能不合他的口味，就連燈光也要調(diào)到他需要的亮度，夜里有什么動靜也不能影響他的休息，等等。
One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”
一天下午一個勤務(wù)兵走進(jìn)病房。“該測體溫了，將軍。”
After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.
在和這個勤務(wù)兵咆哮了一通之后，將軍張開了他的嘴同意測量體溫。
"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”
“對不起，將軍，但是這回要測的是您直腸溫度。”
A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”
又一陣瘋狂的言語辱罵之后，那個勤務(wù)兵執(zhí)意堅(jiān)持要測的是直腸體溫。最后，將軍翻了過去，脫下了褲子，接著衛(wèi)兵開始了測量。那個勤務(wù)兵對將軍說:“就這樣不要動，我五分鐘后回來檢查后再拿出來。”
An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”
一個小時之后，護(hù)十長走進(jìn)病房，看見將軍露著他的屁股就問:“這是怎么回事?”
"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.
“你沒看見有人正在接受體溫測量嗎?”那個將軍大聲嚷道。
"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"
“是的，我看見了。將軍，但是那不是溫度計(jì)而是一棵水仙呀。”
短一些英語小笑話帶翻譯：一只勇敢的豬
我小時候住在華盛頓，爸爸常常帶著我們到南部的卡羅萊納州去度周末，在那里我們看到了“真正的生活”是什么樣子。爸爸會沿路開著車，然后把車停到路邊的農(nóng)場去和那里的人聊天。
I lived in DC when I was young，and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He'd just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.
爸爸和一個農(nóng)婦聊天的時候我發(fā)現(xiàn)了這只豬……
Dad was chatting up a farmer's wife once，when I discovered this pig. . .
它是一只漂亮的豬。但是它只有三條腿。右后腿是木頭做的!我對這個很好奇，于是就問那個農(nóng)民:
It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well、I was as curious as could he，so I asked the farmer:
“先生，為什么你的豬有一只木頭腿?”
"Excuse me. sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?”
“是這樣的，孩子。這是一只勇敢的豬。一天深夜當(dāng)我和妻子在房里睡覺的時候，這只豬跑進(jìn)來把我們都叫醒。我們這才發(fā)現(xiàn)是著火了。我們因此得以生還。”
"Well, boy. What is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night，when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive.”
“這只豬的腿是在著火的時候被燒壞的嗎?”
"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"
“不是，它完好地跑了出去。事實(shí)上，它還沖進(jìn)火場救了我們的孩子。”
"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids.”
“那么這只豬為什么會有只木頭腿呢?”
“Then why does the pig have a wooden 1eg?”
“我告訴你了，孩子。那是一只勇敢的豬!一只英雄豬!是它救了我們?nèi)业拿?”
“I told you，boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!”
“是的，先生。但是為什么它有只木頭腿呢?”
"Yes，sir. But why does he have a wooden leg?"
“孩子，像這樣的一只豬我們是舍不得一次把它全部吃掉的!”
"Boy, a pig like that，you don’t eat all in one sitting!”
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