英文笑話短文

　　1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 湯姆的借口 老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到? 湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著："學(xué)校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD...

2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 湯姆對(duì)著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!" 吉姆說:"你媽媽能!" 附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).

3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 湯姆對(duì)著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!" 吉姆說:"你媽媽能!" 附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn)

. 4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬(wàn)美元對(duì)你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬(wàn)年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請(qǐng)求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."

5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 媽媽讓湯米去馬路對(duì)面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎?” “是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”

6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 開車 父親：哎呀，我剛才違規(guī)右轉(zhuǎn)彎了。 蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉(zhuǎn)了。

7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢?？赡銥槭裁磳?duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”

8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事?” “一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說，“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里。”

9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 兩只鳥 老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎? 學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老師：請(qǐng)說說看。 學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。