關于簡易英語冷笑話閱讀

時間：2016-11-26 10:34:34 韋彥867由分享

　　與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意地違反合作原則,引導出會話含意,并且利用會話含意之間的沖突來達到其預定功能。本文是關于簡易英語冷笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關于簡易英語冷笑話：Parachute Shortage

　　A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

　　The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

　　The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

　　The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

　　The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"

　　關于簡易英語冷笑話：I Want To Buy That

　　A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

　　The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

　　The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

　　Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

　　Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

　　To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

　　The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

　　The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV. It's a microwave!"

　　關于簡易英語冷笑話：Skip A Day

　　A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

　　When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

　　"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

　　The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

　　"From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor. "No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

　　關于簡易英語冷笑話：Blondes Say The Darndest Things

　　Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

　　Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "Earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

　　The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "Tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

　　By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, the executioner says, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." and the blonde shouts, "Fire!!"

　　關于簡易英語冷笑話：You've Got Blonde Mail

　　A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house.

　　A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

　　She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented, "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

　　The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

　　
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