短小經(jīng)典的英語小笑話
笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享短小經(jīng)典的英語小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
短小經(jīng)典的英語小笑話：A Henpecked Husband
怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治療師的建議要堅(jiān)持自己的主見。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他說：“你不必讓你的老婆像惡霸一樣欺侮你?；丶胰プ屗滥悴攀抢洗蟆！?/p>
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook hisfirst in his wife's face,and growled,"
這位老公決定接受醫(yī)生的勸告。他回到家，用力啪答一聲關(guān)上門，在他老婆的面前：揮舞著拳頭，并且大聲咆哮說：
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“從現(xiàn)在起，你得乖乖聽我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out myclothes.
我現(xiàn)在就要吃晚餐，當(dāng)你把它弄好放在餐桌上的時(shí)候，到樓上去把我的衣服擺放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你給我乖乖待在家里不許亂跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外還有一件事情，你知道誰要替我打蝴蝶結(jié)領(lǐng)結(jié)嗎?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫著說:“我當(dāng)然知道。是收尸的人?！?/p>
短小經(jīng)典的英語小笑話：向你的煩惱說再見
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊(duì)進(jìn)入天國之門。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位猶太人對(duì)圣彼得說：“坦白講，能到這里讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到__的輕視和侮辱?！?/p>
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我們實(shí)在感到非常遺憾，”圣彼得說，“但我們這里沒有那樣的偏見，這里每個(gè)人都完全平等，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞你就能進(jìn)入天堂?！?/p>
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名猶太人正確地拼出God后，被招入門內(nèi)。接著印第安人走向前說道“圣彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊，而且只能住在居留地內(nèi)，我在這里能得到真正的自由嗎?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞，你就能像小鳥一樣自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照著做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接著那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他說道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對(duì)待我，在這里那些事不會(huì)發(fā)生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“當(dāng)然不會(huì)，我的弟兄，我們不會(huì)做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個(gè)詞，天堂之國就是你的了!”
短小經(jīng)典的英語小笑話：黑人英語
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一對(duì)黑人夫婦已有八個(gè)小孩，而魯拉·梅又懷了第九個(gè)小孩,最后她說服了她先生去做男性絕育手術(shù)。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手術(shù)的早晨，她驚訝地看見她老公穿著禮服，乘坐一輛禮車到不遠(yuǎn)的醫(yī)院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"親愛的，這是怎么一回事啊?魯拉·梅問道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"寶貝，如果你想當(dāng)名大人物的話，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!"
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