經(jīng)典趣味幽默笑話四則
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)砣の队哪υ捤膭t，希望大家喜歡!
趣味幽默笑話：情書
Jenny Cordon was a very kind and beautiful woman and before she married, many men were in love with her. Many of them wrote to her, telling her how wonderful she was, how much they loved her and wanted to marry her.
珍尼·戈登是個溫柔優(yōu)雅的女人，在她結(jié)婚以前有許多男人追求過她。他們給她寫情書，夸贊她的美貌，表述自己是多么的愛她并且期望著她能夠嫁給他
Jenny kept all these letters. She tied them up with a red ribbon and put them away in an old box. She never looked at them as she was happily married，however, they were a part of her life and she did not want to throw them away.
珍尼收藏著所有的情書。她用了一條紅色的絲帶把那些信件系好，放在了一個舊盒子里面。自從她有了完美的婚姻以后她就再也沒有打開過那些信件。然而，那畢竟是她生命中所渡過的一段美妙的時光，所以她并不打算把那些信件給扔掉。
Jenny had a daughter, Sue. Sue was six.
珍尼有一個女兒叫蘇，蘇今年六歲了。
One day, Jenny had to leave Sue alone for half an hour.
一天，珍尼有事，要把蘇獨自留在家中半個小時。
"Now be a good girl,” she said. “Play quietly. If you need anything, go to the lady next door.”
“要做個乖孩子啊!”她說:“好好玩吧，如果需要什么就去找鄰家的阿姨。”
When she returned home, she asked Sue，“Have you been a good girl?"
當(dāng)她辦完事情回到家中，她問蘇:“有沒有做個乖孩子啊?”
"Oh , yes，Mommy ,”Sue said.
“當(dāng)然了，媽媽。”蘇答道。
"What did you do while I was out?" Jenny asked her.
“我不在家的時候你都干什么了?”珍尼問她。
"I played mailman” Sue told her.
“我假扮郵遞員做游戲。”蘇說。
"How could you play mailman, darling?" Jenny asked. "You didn't have any letters.”
“親愛的，你怎么扮郵遞員?”珍追問到:“你又沒有信!”
"Oh, yes I did, Mommy，”Sue said: "I found some in an old box upstairs. They were tied up with a red ribbon. I put one in every mailbox in the street. Wasn't I a good girl?"
“噢，我有，媽媽。”蘇說:“我在樓上的舊盒子里面找到了好多信，信上還用紅色的絲帶系著呢!我把這些信分別放在街上每家的郵箱里了，你說我是不是個乖孩子?”
趣味幽默笑話：過分的恭維
When I was 28，I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a schools where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down.
28歲那年，我在一所高中教一年級學(xué)生英語。這所學(xué)校允許教職員工有時不必穿得那么正式。
One of those days, I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in and his eyes widened.
一天，我穿了一件運動衫和一條休閑褲。一個學(xué)生進(jìn)來看見后，看著我瞪大了眼睛。
"Wow!” He exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that everyday. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger”
“哇哦!”他大呼小叫地說:“你該天天都這么穿。你看上去足足年輕了20歲，甚至30歲呢!”
趣味幽默笑話：行人和斧子
Two men were traveling along the same road. When one of them, picking up a hatchet, cried:
有兩個人在同一條路上走，其中一個撿到了一把斧子，于是叫了起來:
"See what I have found!”
“瞧我發(fā)現(xiàn)的東西!”
"Do not say I,” said the other, "but we have found.”
“不要說‘我”，另一個人說，“該說‘我們’發(fā)現(xiàn)的。”
After a while up came the man who lost it, and accused he was a theft.
過了一會兒，那個丟了斧子的人來了，指責(zé)拿著斧子的人偷了他的斧子。
"Alas,” said he to his companion, "we are undone!”
“哎呀，”他對他的伙伴說，“這回我們完了!”
“Do not say we,” replied the other, "but, I am undone; for he that will not allow his friend to share the prize must not expect him to share the danger.”
“不要說‘我們’，”另一個人回答說，“該說‘我’完了。一個人不能與朋友分享所得，就不該指望與別人分擔(dān)風(fēng)險。”
趣味幽默笑話：人盡其才
little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.
一天，一個小男孩匆匆忙忙地走進(jìn)了一家雜貨店，手里拿著一張清單。
"Hello, Mr. Smith,” He said. “I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents.”
“史密斯先生，你好。”他說道:“三毛二分錢一磅的咖啡，請給我十三磅。”
"Very good,” said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
“好的。”雜貨店老板馬上把這筆生意記了下來。
"Anything e1se, Charlie?"
“還要別的什么不，查理?”
"Yes. Twenty一seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.”
“要的。再要二十七磅糖，九分錢一磅的。”
"The loaf, eh? And what else?"
“面包要不要?還要什么?”
"Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents.”
“七磅半咸肉，二毛錢一磅的。”
"That will be a good brand. Go on.”
這肉是名牌呢。還有嗎?”
"Five pounds of tea at 90 cents; eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint; two eight一pound hams at 21 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar.”
“九毛錢一磅的茶葉，給我五磅;八分錢一品脫的糖漿要十一夸脫半;二毛一分錢的八磅大火腿要兩只，二毛四分錢一罐的腌核桃要五打。”
The grocer made out the bill.
雜貨店老板把帳單算了出來。
"It’s a big order,” he said. "Did your mother tell you to pay for it?"
“你買了很多東西，”他說:“你媽媽叫你現(xiàn)在把錢付清嗎?”
"My mother,” said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, "has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow.”
小男孩一面把那清楚準(zhǔn)確的賬單放進(jìn)口袋一面說:“這和我媽沒關(guān)系，這是我自己的算術(shù)作業(yè)，我總得想辦法把它做出來!”