經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單英文笑話閱讀
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書(shū)籍雜志上廣泛流傳。本文是經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單英文笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單英文笑話：When to Stop
An old man went to the doctor and began to pour1 out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in(疲乏到極點(diǎn)). After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat2. And after the fifth, I'm soexhausted3, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there(當(dāng)場(chǎng))!"
"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"
"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"
The man said, "I can't stop: I live on the fifth floor!"
一個(gè)老人去看醫(yī)生，滔滔地講述他的問(wèn)題。醫(yī)生進(jìn)一步詢問(wèn)他的癥狀，他說(shuō)：“醫(yī)生啊!我上第一層之后，感到非常累!上了第二層，覺(jué)得快不行了!到第三層，心跳加劇!到第四層，大冒冷汗!到第五層，筋疲力盡， 感覺(jué)當(dāng)場(chǎng)就要死了!”
“真不可思議啊!”醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“你今年幾歲呢?”
“八十五”，病人說(shuō)。醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“噢，八十五歲了!為什么你不一開(kāi)始就停下來(lái)?”
老人回答：“我不能停下來(lái)，我住在第五層樓啊!”
經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單英文笑話：Two Tickets Please
A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller1, "Two tickets, please. "
When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur-tickets that can allow us to stand together?"
一個(gè)小伙子愛(ài)上了一位姑娘。周末，他請(qǐng)她看電影。來(lái)到售票處，小伙子對(duì)售票員說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)給兩張票。”
售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說(shuō)：“那么，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”
經(jīng)典的簡(jiǎn)單英文笑話：Fill it with water!
Osama Bin1 Laden2, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie3(妖怪，鬼) came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together."
The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true.
President Bush said, "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said, "It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a big bridge. Fill it with water!"
拉登，一個(gè)加拿大人還有布什總統(tǒng)走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈。他們擦了擦燈出現(xiàn)了一個(gè)精靈，精靈說(shuō)：“我要滿足你們每人一個(gè)愿望總共三個(gè)。”
加拿大人說(shuō)：“我是個(gè)父親我兒子將成為農(nóng)夫，因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠(yuǎn)肥沃。”精靈說(shuō)了咒語(yǔ)愿望實(shí)現(xiàn)了。拉登看了很驚奇，他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗。精靈又說(shuō)了咒語(yǔ)愿望又實(shí)現(xiàn)了。
布什總統(tǒng)問(wèn)：“精靈請(qǐng)告訴我關(guān)于這座墻的事情。”精靈回答：“墻厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而里面的任何東西出不來(lái)外面的任何東西進(jìn)不去。”布什總統(tǒng)說(shuō)：“哇，那是座大橋耶。注滿水!”
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