簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過(guò)笑話我們可以看到一個(gè)民族的生存環(huán)境、生活方式、社會(huì)關(guān)系和心理特征等等。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：Keys to Success 成功的關(guān)鍵
One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'
"What is cleverness? asked his son.
"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.
一天，父親教育兒子說(shuō)：“一個(gè)人成功的關(guān)鍵就是嚴(yán)守諾言和足夠聰明。一旦你給了別人承諾，無(wú)論發(fā)生什么事，你都得實(shí)現(xiàn)它，這個(gè)就叫‘守諾言’。”
兒子問(wèn)：“那么什么是聰明呢?”
父親回答：“聰明就是任何時(shí)候都別做這樣的承諾。”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：你是怎么引起洪水的?
How did you start the flood? 你是怎么引起洪水的?
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?" "That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
醫(yī)生在里維埃拉度假時(shí)遇到他的一位律師朋友，醫(yī)生問(wèn)他怎么會(huì)到這里來(lái)。律師回答：“我到這里是因?yàn)槲业姆孔颖换馃耍ｋU(xiǎn)公司賠償了我所有的損失。” “真巧，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“我是因?yàn)榉孔颖缓樗疀_垮了，保險(xiǎn)公司也賠償了我所有的損失。”律師看起來(lái)有些困惑，他問(wèn)“哎呀!你是怎么引起洪水的?”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼餐會(huì)
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：Who is that woman? 那女人是誰(shuí)?
The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel. The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, "Why, hello, Teddy, how are you?" When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was that woman?!" "Take it easy, honey," said the groom, "I'm going to have trouble enough explaining you to her."
一對(duì)新婚夫婦走進(jìn)位于邁阿密海灘旅館的電梯。電梯操作員是一個(gè)漂亮的金發(fā)碧眼的美女，看到他們十分驚奇，她說(shuō)：“嗨，Teddy,你好嗎?”夫婦倆到了他們自己的房間，憤怒的新娘要求丈夫做出解釋：“那女人是誰(shuí)?!”“冷靜點(diǎn)，寶貝，”新郎說(shuō)： “我得對(duì)她解釋你是誰(shuí)，這已經(jīng)足夠煩死我了。”
簡(jiǎn)短爆笑的英語(yǔ)笑話：Headstone "Strange"的墓石
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一個(gè)姓Strange的律師去買墓碑。他選好了以后，石匠問(wèn)他，要在墓碑上刻什么碑銘。律師回答：“這里長(zhǎng)眠著一個(gè)誠(chéng)實(shí)的人，一個(gè)律師。”“對(duì)不起，我辦不到，”石匠說(shuō)，“要是這樣的話，違反了一個(gè)墳?zāi)怪荒苈裨嵋粋€(gè)人的法律。不過(guò)，我會(huì)刻上：‘這里長(zhǎng)眠著一位誠(chéng)實(shí)的律師’。” 律師抗議：“但是那樣人們就不知道這里埋葬的是誰(shuí)啊!”“當(dāng)然知道啦，”石匠反駁道，“人們看到會(huì)驚呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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