最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話
前蘇聯(lián)著名作家高爾基說(shuō)過(guò),“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
動(dòng)物園為剛引進(jìn)的袋鼠建了一個(gè)特殊的八英尺高的圍墻。但是第二天早上，人們發(fā)現(xiàn)這動(dòng)物在圍墻外面蹦跳著。于是圍墻高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來(lái)。動(dòng)物園經(jīng)理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍墻高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來(lái)。一個(gè)長(zhǎng)頸鹿問(wèn)袋鼠：“你認(rèn)為他們會(huì)把圍墻建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠說(shuō)，“如果他們繼續(xù)開(kāi)著大門(mén)，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'." The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"
四位牧師的母親聚到一起談?wù)撍齻兊膬鹤印?ldquo;我的兒子是個(gè)教士，”第一位母親自豪地說(shuō)道，“他進(jìn)入房間，人們都說(shuō)，‘您好，閣下’。”
第二為母親說(shuō)：“我的兒子是位主教。他進(jìn)入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。” “我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說(shuō)，“他走進(jìn)房間，人們都說(shuō)，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”
第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說(shuō)，“他要是走入房間，人們都說(shuō)‘哦，我的上帝’!”
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and withbecoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:
″I have known many an instance(實(shí)例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″
一個(gè)星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的幾封信。他打開(kāi)其中一封,發(fā)現(xiàn)信中只寫(xiě)著“傻瓜”兩個(gè)字。
他平靜而認(rèn)真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫(xiě)信時(shí)忘了簽名的人,我遇到過(guò)很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫(xiě)信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
我是來(lái)裝電話的一個(gè)年輕人剛剛開(kāi)始做生意，就租了一個(gè)漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個(gè)人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個(gè)大數(shù)字，好像在談一筆大買(mǎi)賣(mài)。到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問(wèn)來(lái)訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個(gè)人回答，“我是來(lái)給你安裝電話的。”
最搞笑的簡(jiǎn)單英語(yǔ)笑話篇五
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人，主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹，涂料) of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.
一天，有人請(qǐng)這位偉大的畫(huà)家畫(huà)一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫(huà)剛開(kāi)始不久，酬金就出現(xiàn)了問(wèn)題?；舻纤拱l(fā)現(xiàn)，完成這幅畫(huà)后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢(qián)。當(dāng)作品完成之后，那位主顧被請(qǐng)來(lái)看畫(huà)。其實(shí)，這幅畫(huà)不過(guò)是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買(mǎi)主喊了起來(lái)。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說(shuō)。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經(jīng)渡過(guò)去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?/p>
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