2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話大全
在人們的日常生活及交往當(dāng)中，笑話無(wú)處不在。它作為一個(gè)普遍現(xiàn)象，受到了不同領(lǐng)域?qū)W者的關(guān)注，研究涉及心理學(xué)、哲學(xué)、修辭學(xué)、社會(huì)學(xué)等眾多學(xué)科。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!
2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話篇一
Adam's suit
Johnny was looking at an old family Bible when something fell out.
約尼正在看一本家族圣經(jīng)，突然有什么東西從書中掉了出來(lái)。
He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a leaf that had been pressed in the pages. 他撿起來(lái)仔細(xì)地看，原來(lái)是一片加在書頁(yè)中的樹(shù)葉。
His mom came along and asked, "What do you have there Johnny?"
這時(shí)，他的媽媽走過(guò)來(lái)問(wèn)：“你拿的是什么?約尼?”
Johnny replied, "I think it's Adam's suit."
約尼回答說(shuō)：“我想，這應(yīng)該是亞當(dāng)?shù)囊路?rdquo;
2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話篇二
Excuse for speeding
A cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding.
警察在高速上攔下一輛超速的車。
When he asked for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me."
當(dāng)他要駕駛員的駕照時(shí)，駕駛員辯稱，“超速，但是警官，我剛才只是想和我后邊的車保持安全距離。”
2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話篇三
Little Voice
A man was mowing his lawn when he heard his neighbor, who happened to be a blonde, come out of her house. She opened her mailbox, looked inside and slammed it shut. She stompedher foot and went back inside. The man thought ''how weird.''
一個(gè)男人正在除草，聽(tīng)見(jiàn)他的鄰居正好走出家門。這個(gè)鄰居恰好是個(gè)金發(fā)碧眼美女。她打開(kāi)郵箱，往里面看了看，然后又關(guān)上了它。她踱踱腳，轉(zhuǎn)身回去。這個(gè)人覺(jué)得好奇怪啊!
A few minutes passed and sure enough, the blonde came out of her house again, checked her mail box, stamped her foot and went back inside. The man stopped mowing and checked her mailbox to see what was so wrong with it. After seeing nothing, he went back to mowing just shrugging his shoulders.
幾分鐘過(guò)去了，金發(fā)美女又走出了房門，檢查郵箱，跺跺腳又回去。這個(gè)人停止除草，去檢查她的郵箱是否出了問(wèn)題。沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)什么，他聳了聳肩繼續(xù)除草。
As soon as he heard her coming out again, he shut off his mowing machine and went up to her. ''What in the world are you doing, coming out here every five minutes?''
當(dāng)他再次聽(tīng)見(jiàn)她出來(lái)的時(shí)候，他關(guān)掉除草機(jī)走到她的面前。“你每五分鐘出來(lái)一次，到底在做什么呀?”
The blonde looked up at the man and said, ''Well, you see, there's this little voice in my house that keeps on saying, 'You've got mail,' but when I come out here to check, I don't have any.''
金發(fā)美女抬頭看看這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“你看，我聽(tīng)到我房間這個(gè)微弱的聲音一直在說(shuō)，‘你有信件來(lái)了，’可是當(dāng)我出來(lái)看的時(shí)候卻發(fā)現(xiàn)什么都沒(méi)有。”
2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話篇四
How Much for a Season Pass? 宿舍季度通行證
A new dorm rule was announced.
新宿舍規(guī)范出臺(tái)了。
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.
“女生宿舍將全面謝絕男生的光顧，男生宿舍也同樣不得進(jìn)入女生。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined the first time."
"不論是誰(shuí)，一旦違規(guī)，初犯將被罰款20美元。”
"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined ."
"第二次違規(guī)者要被罰款60美元。"
"Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of 0. Are there any questions?"
第三次被抓住需要交180美元的罰款。還有什么疑問(wèn)沒(méi)有?”
"At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er... How much for a season pass?"
"這時(shí)人群中一個(gè)男同學(xué)問(wèn)訊道，“那么一個(gè)季度通行證需要多少錢?”
Notes: 注釋
Out of bounds: 禁止入內(nèi)的
To Incur: to cause 招致什么樣的后果
Hefty: heavy; considerable size or amount, 重型, 很巨大的一筆錢財(cái)
2016最新英語(yǔ)冷笑話篇五
Bus load of politicians 一車政客
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer after seeing whathappened went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a load of holes and buried all the politicians.
一輛滿載政客的大汽車在鄉(xiāng)間路上行駛，突然偏離大陸，撞到一棵樹(shù)上。這棵樹(shù)正長(zhǎng)在一位老年農(nóng)民的地里。農(nóng)民看見(jiàn)發(fā)生事故就跑去看看情況。最后農(nóng)民挖了一個(gè)大坑，把所有的政客都埋了。
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
幾天后，當(dāng)?shù)乜h治安官來(lái)到這里，看見(jiàn)被撞壞的汽車，問(wèn)這位老農(nóng)民：“‘所有人’都死了?” 老農(nóng)民回答說(shuō)：“呃...有些人說(shuō)他們還活著，但是你知道政客們就喜歡撒謊。”
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