流行英文幽默冷笑話大全

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產(chǎn)勞動和與自然界作斗爭的過程中，以口頭形式創(chuàng)作和傳承的文學體裁。下面是學習啦小編帶來的流行英文幽默冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　流行英文幽默冷笑話篇一

　　You're not going to make it 你活不成了

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫(yī)生。檢查過后，醫(yī)生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”醫(yī)生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養(yǎng)美味。第二，給他一個輕松的環(huán)境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　在驅(qū)車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫(yī)生說了什么?”

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.

　　“很遺憾，”她說，“你活不成了。”

　　流行英文幽默冷笑話篇二

　　Prepare Yourself

　　A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."

　　Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

　　自己做好準備

　　校園里流傳著這樣的故事：一個學生一次給父母拍了一份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽，我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”

　　兩天以后，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。你自己做好準備吧!”

　　流行英文幽默冷笑話篇三

　　百萬富翁

　　Millionaire

　　CEO: "My wife made a millionaire out of me."

　　Assistant: "What were you before?"

　　CEO: "a multimillionaire."

　　百萬富翁

　　主管：我妻子使我成為百萬富翁。

　　助手：以前你是什么?

　　主管：千萬富翁。

　　流行英文幽默冷笑話篇四

　　An Old Couple's Quarrel

　　A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: "I'll law you to the Circuit Court."

　　"I'm willing," said the other.

　　"I'll law you to the Supreme Court."

　　"I'll be there."

　　"And I'll law the hell!"

　　"My attorney will be there," was the calm reply.

　　老夫妻吵架

　　一對性情乖僻的老夫妻發(fā)生了爭吵，一直鬧到地方法官那里。敗訴的一方以一種臨戰(zhàn)的姿態(tài)沖著對方嚷道：“我要到巡回法庭去告你。”

　　“愿意奉陪。”另一個說。

　　“我要到最高法院去告你。”

　　“我也陪你。”

　　“我還要到地獄去告你。”

　　“我的代理人會奉陪的。”對方平靜的說。

　　流行英文幽默冷笑話篇五

　　It’s not that. 不是那樣的。

　　A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

　　B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

　　A: No, it wasn’t raining.

　　A：我看見7個女孩共撐一把傘卻沒有一個被淋濕。

　　B：啊?那一定是把很大的傘吧!

　　A：不是，當時并沒有下雨。

　　
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