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國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話大全

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

  英語(yǔ)笑話幽默話語(yǔ)分析的理論不斷推陳出新,但是對(duì)于把英語(yǔ)作為外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)的中國(guó)讀者而言,文化因素在解讀幽默的過(guò)程中扮演著更加重要的角色。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話,歡迎閱讀!

  國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話篇一

  Rejuvenation pill 返老還童藥片

  The old age had crept in on Mrs. Daly. Aches and pains bothered her day and night. One day, she received a package with some pills and a letter from her son. The letter said, "Dear Mom, I am sending you some wonder drug called rejuvenation1 pills. It will make you well and years younger."

  A few months later, Jimmy came home. Sitting on the porch was a beautiful young lady rocking a cradle with a baby in it sucking the bottle.

  "Where is my mother?" Jimmy asked.

  "Don't be silly. I am your mother. Those pills were marvelous."

  "Imagine, with one pill, you're as beautiful as anyone can be. Once more, you could have a baby, My, they are powerful."

  "That's not a baby. That's your father, He took two."

  黛麗女士漸漸變老了,身上的疼痛日日夜夜折磨著她。有一天,黛麗收到兒子寄來(lái)的一個(gè)包裹,里面放著一些藥片和一封信,兒子在信中說(shuō):“親愛(ài)的媽媽?zhuān)医o你寄來(lái)了一些神奇的藥片,返老還童片,吃了后你會(huì)變得健康年輕。”

  幾個(gè)月后,吉米回到家,一位年輕美麗的女士坐在門(mén)廊上搖著搖籃,搖籃里有個(gè)嬰兒吸著奶瓶。

  “我的媽媽呢?”吉米問(wèn)。

  “別犯傻了,我就是你媽媽?zhuān)切┧幤窳恕?rdquo;

  “真是不可思議,那個(gè)藥吃了一片就可以美夢(mèng)成真,再吃一片就可以生個(gè)孩子,哇塞,藥片可真厲害。”

  “那可不是孩子,那是你爸爸,他吃了兩片。”

  國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話篇二

  They won't let me fart 就是不準(zhǔn)我放屁

  One evening a family brings their frail1, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

  The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower a garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

  Two attentive2 nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. But after a while she starts to tilt3 to the other side.

  The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright, This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So, Ma, How is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies, "Except they won't let me fart."

  一個(gè)夜晚,一家人把年邁體虛的老母親送到了敬老院,希望她在那里能得到悉心的照顧。

  第二天,護(hù)士們給她洗澡,喂她吃不錯(cuò)的早餐,把她安頓在窗旁的椅子上欣賞漂亮的花園。她看上去一切都好,但是過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,老太太又開(kāi)始靠向另一邊。

  兩個(gè)細(xì)心的護(hù)士立即跑上前扶起她來(lái)。但是過(guò)了一會(huì)兒老太太開(kāi)始向另一邊側(cè)彎身子。

  兩個(gè)護(hù)士再一次跑過(guò)去把她扶正。就這樣反反復(fù)復(fù)了一上午。后來(lái)家人來(lái)看望老太太,看她是不是適應(yīng)這個(gè)新家。“媽?zhuān)谶@里過(guò)得怎么樣?她們對(duì)你好嗎?“家人問(wèn)。“很好,”老太太回答,“就是不準(zhǔn)我放屁。”

  國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話篇三

  Role reversal 地位轉(zhuǎn)換

  Barbara Walters filed report on gender1 roles in Kuwait a few years prior to the Gulf2 War, and noted3 then that, traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

  Recently, Barbara returned to Kuwait and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the Kuwaiti women for an explanation.

  "This is marvelous," Barbara said, "What enabled women here to achieve their reversal of roles?"

  The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines".

  海灣戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)開(kāi)始的前幾年,芭芭拉.沃斯特對(duì)科威特的男女地位進(jìn)行了報(bào)道。她當(dāng)時(shí)注意到:按照伊斯蘭教的傳統(tǒng),婦女通常跟在丈夫10英尺遠(yuǎn)的后面。

  最近芭芭拉又來(lái)到科威特,她發(fā)現(xiàn),現(xiàn)在男人都走在妻子后面幾碼遠(yuǎn)的地方。她走向一名科威特婦女,希望得到解釋。

  芭芭拉說(shuō):“這太神奇了,是什么使科威特婦女成功的轉(zhuǎn)換了男女之間的地位呢?”

  那名科威特婦女回答道:“是地雷。”

  國(guó)外英語(yǔ)搞笑笑話篇四

  The divorce 離婚

  John had waited for months to get a divorce and now he was free from his domineering wife.

  "Free at last!" he screamed, throwing his divorce papers into the air. "Now, I can eat when I want to, watch television when I want to."

  Two months later John was found being escorted to jail by a police officer.

  A shocked friend, on seeing poor John hand-cuffed, asked, "John, why are you under arrest? I thought your troubles were over when you divorced your wife."

  "I couldn't pay my alimony," related John sadly.

  "Why couldn't you pay your alimony?"

  "My ex-wife has custody1 of the money and my business."

  約翰等了好幾個(gè)月才離婚,現(xiàn)在他終于擺脫了他專(zhuān)橫的妻子。

  “終于自由了。”他尖叫著,把離婚協(xié)議書(shū)拋到空中,“現(xiàn)在,我想吃就吃,想看電視就看電視。”

  兩個(gè)月后,有人發(fā)現(xiàn)約翰被警官帶進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄。

  一個(gè)朋友看見(jiàn)可憐的約翰戴著手銬,感到很震驚,問(wèn)道:“約翰,你為什么被捕了?我以為你和你妻子離婚了就沒(méi)什么麻煩了。”

  “我付不起我的贍養(yǎng)費(fèi)。”約翰傷心地回答。

  “你為什么付不起你的贍養(yǎng)費(fèi)呢?”

  “我前妻掌握了我的財(cái)產(chǎn)和生意啊。”

  
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