經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)幽默笑話集錦

　　笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領(lǐng)域,其中包括政治笑話、經(jīng)濟(jì)笑話、家庭生活笑話、關(guān)于民族性格的笑話等。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的英語(yǔ)幽默笑話集錦，歡迎閱讀!

　　英語(yǔ)幽默笑話集錦精選

　　(一)

　　豬還是女巫 Pig or Witch

　　A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.

　　一個(gè)男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車(chē)，一個(gè)女人相向駕車(chē)而來(lái)。

　　As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

　　他們相遇時(shí)，那個(gè)女的從窗中伸出頭來(lái)叫到：“豬!!”

　　The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"

　　那個(gè)男的立即從窗中伸出頭來(lái)回敬道：“女巫!!”

　　They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.

　　他們繼續(xù)前行。這個(gè)男的在下一個(gè)路口轉(zhuǎn)彎時(shí)，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。

　　If only men would listen.

　　要是這個(gè)男的能聽(tīng)懂那個(gè)女人的意思就好了。

　　(二)

　　The World's Greatest Swordsman

　　世界上最偉大的擊劍手

　　At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

　　在一場(chǎng)世界最佳擊劍手表演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場(chǎng)了。一只蒼蠅放了出來(lái)，劍劃了一個(gè)弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來(lái)。緊接著排名第二的人將一只蒼蠅切成了四半?，F(xiàn)場(chǎng)一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場(chǎng)。

　　His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

　　他的劍鋒以一個(gè)巨大的弧線劃了下來(lái)——然而那只昆蟲(chóng)還在繼續(xù)飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯(cuò)過(guò)了他的目標(biāo)，然而他還在微笑著。

　　"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

　　“你為什么這么高興?”有人嚷道，“你沒(méi)擊中!”

　　"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

　　“啊，”劍手答道，“你剛才沒(méi)有很仔細(xì)地看。蒼蠅還活著，是的——但他永遠(yuǎn)也做不成爸爸了。”

　　英語(yǔ)幽默笑話集錦閱讀

　　(一)

　　天氣預(yù)報(bào) Weather Predict

　　Weather Predict A film crew was on location deep in the desert.

　　天氣預(yù)報(bào)一個(gè)電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.

　　One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."

　　一天,一個(gè)印度老人到導(dǎo)演跟前告訴導(dǎo)演說(shuō)"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

　　The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrowstorm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

　　一周后,印度人又來(lái)告訴導(dǎo)演說(shuō),"明天有風(fēng)暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

　　"This Indian is incredible," said the director.

　　"印度人真神,"導(dǎo)演說(shuō).

　　He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

　　他告訴秘書(shū)雇傭該印度人來(lái)預(yù)報(bào)天氣.

　　However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

　　幾次預(yù)報(bào)都很成功.然后,接下來(lái)的兩周,印度人不見(jiàn)了.

　　Finally the director sent for him.

　　最后,導(dǎo)演派人去把他叫來(lái)了.

　　"I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. Whatwill the weather be like?"

　　"我明天必須拍一個(gè)很大的場(chǎng)景,"導(dǎo)演說(shuō),"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"

　　The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

　　印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說(shuō),"收音機(jī)壞了."

　　(二)

　　模仿鳥(niǎo)兒 Imitate Birds

　　A man tried to get a job in a stage show.

　　一個(gè)人想在一個(gè)舞臺(tái)劇中找份工作。

　　"What can you do?" asked the producer.

　　“你能干什么呢?”負(fù)責(zé)人問(wèn)。

　　"Imitate birds," the man said.

　　“模仿鳥(niǎo)兒，”那人說(shuō)。

　　"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

　　“你在開(kāi)玩笑吧?”負(fù)責(zé)人答道，“那樣的人一毛錢(qián)可以找一打。”

　　"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.

　　“噢，那就算了。”那名演員說(shuō)著，展開(kāi)翅膀，飛出了窗口。

　　英語(yǔ)幽默笑話集錦學(xué)習(xí)

　　(一)

　　But the teacher cried

　　老師哭了

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled.

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。

　　His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wantedanything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his firstday away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門(mén)口接他并問(wèn)道：

　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

　　“學(xué)校怎么樣?你過(guò)的好嗎?哭了沒(méi)有?”

　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

　　“哭?”約翰問(wèn)，“不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了。”

　　(二)

　　鬧饑荒的原因 The Reason of the Famine

　　In one dinner party，a capitalist eyed bony Bernard Shawup and down regretfully， and said inall seriousness，"Look at your appearance，it really makes people believe that all theBritishare are starving."

　　在一次宴會(huì)上，一個(gè)資本家用遺憾的目光上下打量著瘦骨嶙峋的肖伯納，一本正經(jīng)地說(shuō)：“看看你的模樣，真叫人以為英國(guó)人都在挨餓。”

　　Bernard Shaw，examining the potbellied capitalist，said，"But，I know as soon as I saw you thereason why Britain is suffering from famine."

　　肖伯納審視著大腹便便的資本家說(shuō)：“但是，我一見(jiàn)到你，就知道英國(guó)正在鬧饑荒的原因了。”