通俗易懂英語幽默笑話短文
幽默帶來悟力和寬容，冷嘲則帶來深刻而不友善的理解。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了通俗易懂英語幽默笑話短文，歡迎閱讀!
通俗易懂英語幽默笑話短文：特別來賓
A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope. Both men are allowed to enter heaven, and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion. But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the lawyer asks St. Peter about it.
一位律師發(fā)現(xiàn)他和某教宗一起到達(dá)天堂的珍珠門，兩個(gè)人都被允許進(jìn)入天堂。律師被安置在一間豪華的別墅，但他卻見到教宗被安排住在非常簡陋的住所。由于好奇心的驅(qū)使，律師問圣彼得其中原委。
“Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, “we have dozens of popes up here, but we’ve never had a lawyer before.”
“哦，你看我們這里有好幾十位教宗，可是你卻是第一個(gè)上天堂的律師呢!”圣彼得答道。
通俗易懂英語幽默笑話短文： 好運(yùn)跟著保險(xiǎn)來
“For the last time, I don’t want any insurance!” said the harassed householder to the salesman.
“這是最后一次了，我不要買任何保險(xiǎn)!”被騷擾的房主對(duì)推銷員說道。
“Just a moment, sir. Please consider this: Just last month I sold a policy to a man much like yourself. The very next day his house caught fire. The house was completely gutted. To save himself, he had to leap from an upstairs window; he landed on his own car, went through the roof, broke both his legs and an arm.”
“等一會(huì)兒，先生，請(qǐng)您仔細(xì)考慮一下：上個(gè)月有一位先生長得跟你很像，他剛買了一份保險(xiǎn)，隔天他家就著火，房子內(nèi)部全都被燒毀，為了保住性命，他從樓上窗戶跳下來，恰巧落在他的汽車上，穿過車頂，他摔斷了兩條腿和一只手臂。”
“Well, he was one of the lucky ones, wasn’t he?”
“喔!他就是你所說的幸運(yùn)人士中的一個(gè)，不是嗎?”
通俗易懂英語幽默笑話短文：多謝了，班長
The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.
一位班長剛完成部隊(duì)晨間檢查。
“Before I dismiss you, there’s just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead. Dismissed.”
“解散之前，有件事要宣布一下，二等兵卡瓦斯基，你母親已經(jīng)過 世了。解 散!”
The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant’s heartlessness.
當(dāng)然，那位士兵遭受很大的打擊，而排長也訝異于班長的冷酷無情。
“For Heaven’s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one’s demise, please be a little more subtle,” he said.
“看在老天的分上，班長，下次你要告訴弟兄們有親人死亡時(shí)，請(qǐng)多用點(diǎn)技巧，委婉一些，”排長說道。
A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity. Lining up his troops, he ordered, “All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you, Johnson.”
幾個(gè)禮拜之后，很不幸那位班長又有一次機(jī)會(huì)。集合了部隊(duì)，他下 令道“：所有媽媽尚健在的，前進(jìn)一步。你，約翰遜，除外。”
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