幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文閱讀
隨著經(jīng)濟(jì)全球化的發(fā)展和國(guó)際交往的日益頻繁,語(yǔ)言成為人們互相交流的重要橋梁。英語(yǔ)教學(xué)已成為各級(jí)學(xué)校的重點(diǎn)教學(xué)內(nèi)容。本文是幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文：Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重許愿
一對(duì)結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
慶?；顒?dòng)中，一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說(shuō)，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛(ài)夫妻，因此她給許給這對(duì)夫妻每個(gè)人一個(gè)愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。
接下來(lái)該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說(shuō)，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔術(shù)棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。
幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文：Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.
He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."
"I-75, two miles south of Standish."
After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚(yú)后，我的一個(gè)朋友開(kāi)車(chē)拖著他的船回家。路上車(chē)壞了。他沒(méi)帶手機(jī)，不過(guò)，他想，也許他可以通過(guò)海事無(wú)線廣播來(lái)請(qǐng)求公路援助。
于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動(dòng)了無(wú)線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。
一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”。
“I-75號(hào)公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。
沉默了好一會(huì)之后，警官問(wèn)我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開(kāi)得有多快?”
幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文：Friend for Dinner
Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!
I know all that.
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.
請(qǐng)朋友吃飯
“親愛(ài)的，”丈夫?qū)ζ拮诱f(shuō)：“我邀請(qǐng)了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”
“什么?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒(méi)有買(mǎi)過(guò)東西回來(lái)了，所有的碗碟都是臟的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”
“這些我全都知道。”
“那你為什么還要邀請(qǐng)朋友回來(lái)吃晚飯?”
“因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結(jié)婚呢。”
幽默類(lèi)的英語(yǔ)短文：A Peddler of Selling Earthen Basins (賣(mài)瓦盆的小販)
A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked :"Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack(爆裂聲) . Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments(碎片，殘片) without extra trouble into paddy(稻谷，稻田) field, but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off(放過(guò)，不懲罰) easily:" How the deuce (強(qiáng)式特指問(wèn)句) can you throw them into my field? They’ll impede (妨礙)my growing crops!" The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."
一個(gè)小販在路邊賣(mài)瓦盆，他一邊敲一邊唱：“瓦盆圓又圓，結(jié)實(shí)又好看，光聽(tīng)這聲音，就知不一般。”敲著敲著，“啪啦”一聲，把盆敲爛了。圍觀的人一陣哄笑。他順手把碎片扔進(jìn)了稻田里，誰(shuí)知人群中一個(gè)老農(nóng)不干了：“你怎么能往我地里扔?這不影響我種田嗎?” 賣(mài)瓦盆的小販連忙辯解：“不要緊，瓦片見(jiàn)水一會(huì)兒就粉了。”
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