快樂(lè)計(jì)劃學(xué)著進(jìn)步雙語(yǔ)
你有沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)任何跟蹤自己進(jìn)步的好方法呢?--它能幫助你實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)、保持決議嗎?接下來(lái)，小編給大家準(zhǔn)備了快樂(lè)計(jì)劃學(xué)著進(jìn)步雙語(yǔ),歡迎大家參考與借鑒。
快樂(lè)計(jì)劃學(xué)著進(jìn)步雙語(yǔ)
I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
我正在進(jìn)行自己的快樂(lè)計(jì)劃，你也應(yīng)該有一個(gè)!雖然人人不盡相同，可是極少人不從中受益。參與進(jìn)來(lái)--不需要從后邊趕上，只要立刻加入。每周五的帖子將幫助你思考自己的快樂(lè)計(jì)劃。
One strategy that I find hugely helpful in many aspects of my life is to track my progress. Having some concrete proof of advancement1 gives me the gold stars I crave2, and the accountability of charting my progress – or lack thereof – keeps me diligent3.
在生活中許多方面幫助了我的一個(gè)策略是跟蹤自己的進(jìn)步。有確鑿證據(jù)表明進(jìn)步給我?guī)?lái)了渴求的“小星星”，對(duì)有了進(jìn)步或缺少進(jìn)步進(jìn)行記錄的問(wèn)責(zé)制讓我勤奮。
One key way I track my progress is through my Resolutions Chart. The boxes below each resolution show me where I'm making progress and where I need to work harder.
跟蹤進(jìn)步的一個(gè)關(guān)鍵是通過(guò)我的決議圖。 每個(gè)決議下的格子說(shuō)明我在哪些地方取得了進(jìn)步，哪些地方需要再加把勁。
I’ve found other ways to keep track of progress, too. As I’ve worked on the draft of my Happiness Project book (self-promotion alert: it comes out in January), I kept a pile of all the print-outs I’ve made. I work almost exclusively on the computer, but every once in a while I have to read it in a hard copy -- somehow, words look so different printed on a page. Keeping a stack of my evolving manuscript was a way to remind myself visually of how far I’ve come since I started.
我還發(fā)現(xiàn)了另一個(gè)跟蹤進(jìn)步的方法。當(dāng)我給“快樂(lè)計(jì)劃”一書(shū)起草時(shí)(警告：自我推銷--該書(shū)將于明年一月出版)，我有一大堆自己制作的打印本。幾乎全部都是在電腦上進(jìn)行，但是隔一段時(shí)間，我必須要讀一讀紙質(zhì)本--不知怎么地，字印刷在一頁(yè)紙上就是不一樣。有一疊逐漸發(fā)展下的手稿是一個(gè)通過(guò)視覺(jué)方式提醒自己自己從一開(kāi)始已經(jīng)進(jìn)行到了什么程度的方法。
As the photo here shows, the pile was also fairly unattractive, so after taking this picture I rewarded myself for completing the copy-edited version by tossing the entire stack. Now, in a reversal, the absence of the pile is a different sign of progress.
正如上邊圖片現(xiàn)實(shí)，這一堆看上去十分沒(méi)魅力，所以，在拍完后，為了慶祝完成了書(shū)稿版，將這一堆都丟了?，F(xiàn)在，反過(guò)來(lái)，沒(méi)有這一堆成了展現(xiàn)出進(jìn)步的另一個(gè)不同的標(biāo)記。
Keeping track of progress can help deter4 you from doing things you don’t want to do – for example, snacking mindlessly. In Brian Wansink’s fascinating book Mindless Eating, he describes an experiment where students were served free chicken wings while they watched the Super Bowl. When the tables were bussed so that people had a clean table in front of them and no evidence to remind them of how much they’d eaten, they ate 28% more chicken wings than the people did when the leftover5 bones were left piled in front of them. A friend applied6 this strategy herself. She is a big candy fan, and for a week, after she ate candy, she saved the wrapper in her purse. At the end of the week, she was horrified7 by the number of wrappers she’d accumulated, and she was inspired to cut back on her candy consumption.
跟蹤進(jìn)步可以幫助你阻止做那些不想做的事情--例如，盲目吃零食。 在Brian Wansink精彩一書(shū)“Mindless Eating”中，他講述了一個(gè)試驗(yàn)。實(shí)驗(yàn)中，學(xué)生被提供免費(fèi)雞翅，一邊看Super Bowl。當(dāng)餐座被撤掉，這樣人們面前是干凈的桌子，沒(méi)有證據(jù)來(lái)提醒人們吃了多少，那么他們吃的雞翅比那些雞骨頭堆被留在面前的人們吃的多28%。一位朋友對(duì)自己采用了這個(gè)方法。她很喜歡吃糖，有一周，在吃完后，她把糖紙存在了錢包中。一個(gè)禮拜后，她驚恐地發(fā)現(xiàn)積累了多少?gòu)執(zhí)羌垼@讓她少吃糖。
Another way to keep track of progress is to keep a one-sentence journal. The thought of keeping a real journal – the kind written in beautiful script in a parchment journal – is daunting8, but keeping a journal of one daily sentence is manageable. My one-sentence journal is just general family news, but other people use them to track progress in a specific area: the launch of a new business, brainstorming9 ideas for a project, tracking training for a marathon.
另一個(gè)跟蹤進(jìn)步的方法是記錄一句話日記。寫(xiě)真正的日記--那種在羊皮紙日記本中漂亮語(yǔ)言寫(xiě)下的那種日記--令人畏怯，但是寫(xiě)“每天一句話”的日記卻是可以做到。我的一句話日記不過(guò)是普通家庭內(nèi)容，但是有人用它跟蹤明確方面的進(jìn)步: 創(chuàng)業(yè)、為一個(gè)計(jì)劃想電子，為訓(xùn)練跑馬拉松。
Have you found any good ways to track your progress? –and does it help you achieve your goals and keep your resolutions?
你有沒(méi)有發(fā)現(xiàn)任何跟蹤自己進(jìn)步的好方法呢?--它能幫助你實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)、保持決議嗎?
擴(kuò)展：受害人思維
How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.
對(duì)下面的問(wèn)題你會(huì)作何回答：我擺脫了虐待，翻開(kāi)新的生活。有些事我一直在考慮，從何時(shí)開(kāi)始，如何虐待會(huì)停止在我的生活中扮演重要的角色?我見(jiàn)過(guò)那些繼續(xù)生活的人，我想知道他們是如何做到的。
The woman who asked this, asked a valid1 question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of themselves as it did while they were being abused. The only difference may be there is no physical or emotional abuse happening in their worlds.
問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題的女士所問(wèn)的問(wèn)題是有效的。有許多不再是受害者的男人、女人和孩子，可是這些人感到無(wú)法將其拋在身后。它就如同過(guò)去被虐待時(shí)一樣還是自己的一部分。唯一的區(qū)別是如今在他們的世界沒(méi)有情感或身體虐待發(fā)生。
What is victim mentality2?
什么是受害人思維?
A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. (Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.) If you do not get the promotion3 it is because Mr. Johnson was out to get you. Not because he found you playing on the Internet every day. Your best friend called and said she could not have dinner with you. She is always doing that to you; not showing. You'll show her. You won't invite her when you go out again! Instead of remembering she has just started school and you did call her at the last minute. Victim mentality.
受害人思維是你對(duì)自己生活中的一切都指責(zé)于別人。(另一個(gè)不常用的定義是一個(gè)人認(rèn)為未來(lái)只會(huì)給他們帶來(lái)不好的東西)如果你沒(méi)有獲得晉升，那是因?yàn)镴ohnson和你做多。不是因?yàn)樗l(fā)現(xiàn)你成天上網(wǎng)。你最好的朋友打電話說(shuō)不能和你進(jìn)餐。她總是那么對(duì)你，不來(lái)。你將看她顏色看看。當(dāng)你再出去時(shí)就不會(huì)請(qǐng)她了。而沒(méi)有考慮她才剛開(kāi)學(xué)，而你卻是在最后一分鐘打給她電話。受害人思維。
Recently I spoke4 with someone who no longer lives with a victim mentality. She has gone on with her life and is free from some of the extra baggage that come with being a victim. We discussed forgiving our abusers and how in that process you also need to forgive yourself. With that came loosing the victim mentality.
最近，我和某位不再帶著“受害人”思維的人談話。她繼續(xù)新的生活，不再有作為受害人要背的額外包袱。我們討論了如何原諒虐待人，在此過(guò)程中你也要如何原諒自己。隨之而來(lái)的就是釋放了受害人思維。
When she was living under the victim mentality she found herself angrier. She found herself swirling5 in a sea of resentment6 towards her abuser. She stayed locked in that cycle and never seemed to move forward. If she got sick, she became angry at him. If the kids messed up, she became angry at him. He was no longer in the picture, but it was all his fault. It was not hers; he made things this way... Life is easier when you can play the blame game. The blame game makes it easy for your life not to move forward or for you to grow.
當(dāng)她生活在這種思維下，她發(fā)現(xiàn)自己更生氣。她發(fā)現(xiàn)自己將滿腔的憤恨都拋給了她的虐待者。她困在這種循環(huán)，似乎永遠(yuǎn)都不能前進(jìn)。如果她生病了，那么她會(huì)對(duì)他生氣。如果孩子搗蛋，她會(huì)對(duì)他生氣。那個(gè)人不在牽涉，但是全都是他的錯(cuò);不是她的錯(cuò);他讓事情這樣...當(dāng)你開(kāi)始做“指責(zé)”游戲，生活要容易些。"指責(zé)"游戲讓你的生活“容易”不前進(jìn)，讓你不成長(zhǎng)。
The day came when she tired of the mentality. She wasn't a victim anymore and the time had come for her to move beyond the victim mentality. I asked her how she stopped the self destructive cycle. The first thing she did is something many abuse victims may have a hard time doing. She forgave her abuser. She did not say that she forgave him for breaking her ribs7, she acknowledged that he had a problem and that he needed to get help. Wishing him ill will kept him in her mind more then he should have been. By acknowledging that he had hurt her, that he did have a problem, she was able to feel some relief. There was more though. As important as forgiving him was, she needed to forgive herself too. She needed to forgive herself for exposing the kids to the abuse. She needed to forgive herself for not reporting him to the police all the times he had hurt her. She needed to forgive herself for being afraid. She needed to forgive herself for not having walked away all the times she could have. She needed to forgive herself..
有一天，她厭惡了這種思維。她不再是受害人，是時(shí)候讓她走出這種思維。我問(wèn)她如何停止這種自我毀滅的循環(huán)。她做的第一件事就是許多受害人感到難以去做的。她原諒了她的虐待者。她并沒(méi)有說(shuō)因?yàn)榇驍嗔怂睦吖嵌?，她承認(rèn)他有問(wèn)題，需要幫助。詛咒他只會(huì)讓她依然記著他。通過(guò)承認(rèn)他傷害了她，他確實(shí)有問(wèn)題，她就能獲得一些輕松。不過(guò)不僅如此。和原諒一樣重要的，她需要原諒自己。她需要原諒自己讓孩子暴露在虐待環(huán)境下。她需要原諒自己在他傷害她這一切的時(shí)候沒(méi)有報(bào)警。她需要原諒自己的害怕感覺(jué)。她需要原諒自己一直以來(lái)本可以卻沒(méi)有離開(kāi)。她需要原來(lái)那個(gè)她自己...
She did all those things so she could mentally move forward. Forgiving herself allowed her to get past some of the more intense things she had experienced. The physical bruises8 had all gone away. The emotional had stayed. It had clung to her and kept the victim mentality alive.
她做了這一切事情，這才能夠精神上前進(jìn)。原諒自己讓她超越了過(guò)去感受到的更強(qiáng)烈東西。身體瘀傷過(guò)去都好了，可情緒的去依舊還在。它牢牢地握住她，維系著受害人思維。
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