外國最新幽默笑話

外國最新幽默笑話

　　笑話是一種增強(qiáng)快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現(xiàn)，給人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的藝術(shù)效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放松一下自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)硗鈬钚掠哪υ捤膭t，希望大家喜歡!

　　外國最新幽默笑話：電話錄音

　　KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.

　　KQED電臺(tái)在幾天前宣布，由于資金緊張，他們將刷掉一個(gè)叫做《觀察評(píng)論》的節(jié)目。第二天一大早，唐·愛得華茲從專門記錄聽眾反饋意見的電話錄音中聽到了一位婦女的留言:“我叫朱莉婭，一個(gè)老聽眾了，聽說你們要取消《觀察評(píng)論》這個(gè)欄目，我感到非常氣憤!我要考慮收回我的資助，除非你們能恢復(fù)……”緊接著是一聲急促的剎車聲，然后是撞擊聲和玻璃粉碎的聲音，并且伴隨著朱莉婭的尖叫聲:“天那，你們簡直快讓我發(fā)瘋了，剛才我和前面的一輛車追尾了，我掛電話了。”接著便是掛上電話后的滴答聲。可憐的朱莉婭，其實(shí)資金已經(jīng)重新運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)了，《觀察評(píng)論》這檔節(jié)目也重新開播了。

　　外國最新幽默笑話：初出茅廬的州警

　　Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia, a young state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his job, determined there was insufficient evidence and refused to issue the warrant. The trooper arrested the magistrate for" obstruction of justice.” Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly determined what had happened，and refused to lock up the magistrate. The best part was the state patrol post’s leader's response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the trooper, and it won’t happen again.”

　　昨天，在喬治亞州南部的一個(gè)縣，一位年輕的州警到當(dāng)?shù)氐姆ㄔ?，他想要逮一個(gè)人，希望法官給他開一個(gè)逮捕令。那個(gè)法官認(rèn)為沒有足夠的證據(jù)可以證明那個(gè)人有罪，所以拒絕簽發(fā)逮捕令。于是，這名警察便以“妨礙公務(wù)”的罪名逮捕了那位法官?？墒钱?dāng)治安長官了解了情況以后，便拒絕監(jiān)禁名法官。然而最精彩的部分還要說是巡警長官的態(tài)度了，他在電話采訪中說到:“我們相信這完全是個(gè)小小誤會(huì)，我們已經(jīng)批評(píng)了那個(gè)巡警，并且保證今后再不會(huì)發(fā)生類似的事情了!”

　　外國最新幽默笑話：沉默誓言

　　A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.

　　一個(gè)中產(chǎn)階級(jí)男子決心遠(yuǎn)離紅塵，去當(dāng)修道士。每個(gè)出家的人都必須要立個(gè)沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允許說兩個(gè)字，作為對(duì)這一段時(shí)間所經(jīng)歷事情的總結(jié)。

　　After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”

　　第一個(gè)五年過去了，當(dāng)修道士讓他用兩個(gè)字總結(jié)這五年的經(jīng)歷時(shí)，那人說道“破床”。

　　When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”

　　又過了五年，當(dāng)修道士再次問道他的時(shí)候，他回答“豬食”。

　　After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”

　　第三個(gè)五年過后他對(duì)修道士說“放棄”。

　　The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”

　　道十點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭喃喃地說道:“果不出我所料，這十五年來除了抱怨以外你什么也沒有做。”

　　外國最新幽默笑話：場景

　　Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well，he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.

　　你有沒有聽說過有一個(gè)人，當(dāng)他回到家后發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的妻子正和另一個(gè)男人在鬼混，他立刻拔出手槍喊到:“我受夠了!看來今天是要做一個(gè)了結(jié)了!”說完他將槍口對(duì)準(zhǔn)自己的頭。

　　The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch，because you're next!”

　　這時(shí)那個(gè)蕩婦喊到:“不，不要這樣，你可不能自殺呀!”那人聽了憤怒地吼道:“閉嘴，潑婦，下一個(gè)死的就是你!”