簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話
下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：小女孩的愿望
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問(wèn)學(xué)生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說(shuō)，她希望舞蹈演員可以長(zhǎng)得更高一點(diǎn)兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：不是我的錯(cuò)
It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding訓(xùn)斥，譴責(zé) her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的錯(cuò)
媽媽(正教訓(xùn)她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。
女兒：媽?zhuān)抑皇俏罩埼舶?，它自己在拽?/p>
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：父親在哪?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄。”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：兩塊蛋糕
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
兩塊蛋糕
湯姆：媽媽?zhuān)铱梢猿詢(xún)蓧K蛋糕嗎?
媽媽?zhuān)寒?dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：I do not recognize you
Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!
Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!
一天老虎在沙灘散步，見(jiàn)到一只螃蟹，就走過(guò)去想看個(gè)究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹(shù)叢里跑。老虎痛得跳起來(lái)了，緊接著就追螃蟹!
追到樹(shù)叢就不見(jiàn)螃蟹了，這時(shí)老虎看見(jiàn)一只守在大網(wǎng)中的蜘蛛，老虎對(duì)著蜘蛛發(fā)火了：好你個(gè)螃蟹!你以為你上了網(wǎng)我就不認(rèn)得你了!
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.
有個(gè)人去寵物店買(mǎi)鸚鵡。在那里，他看見(jiàn)有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對(duì)此他感到不解，于是他問(wèn)該店的老板，老板回答說(shuō)：“這只鸚鵡受過(guò)特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語(yǔ)，拉綠線，它則講德語(yǔ)。”
這個(gè)好奇的人接著問(wèn)，“要是我兩條線都拉，會(huì)怎么樣呢?”
“我就會(huì)掉下來(lái)了，你這個(gè)傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說(shuō)。
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：Not so fast 別那么急嘛
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(歡慶的) charity event was taking place.
Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
一只豬和一只雞路過(guò)一所教堂，那里有一場(chǎng)盛大慈善活動(dòng)正在進(jìn)行著。
在精神上收到觸動(dòng)的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個(gè)人作出點(diǎn)自己的貢獻(xiàn)。
“好主意!”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧?”
“著什么急”豬不耐煩地說(shuō)，“對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)，是一個(gè)貢獻(xiàn)，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，這是一個(gè)完全的獻(xiàn)身。”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛
A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
一個(gè)鄉(xiāng)下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當(dāng)他雙手都塞滿(mǎn)了蝸牛后，就準(zhǔn)備點(diǎn)火烤著吃?；瘘c(diǎn)著了，蝸牛也開(kāi)始感覺(jué)到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅(jiān)殼的深處，同時(shí)還發(fā)出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子聽(tīng)到了蝸牛發(fā)出的噓聲，便說(shuō)：“你們這些連命都快沒(méi)有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時(shí)吹口哨呢?”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭(zhēng)論
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個(gè)小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚(yú)的事情。
她的老師說(shuō)：“一頭鯨魚(yú)從身體構(gòu)造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)楸M管鯨魚(yú)是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚(yú)吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說(shuō)：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，鯨魚(yú)是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。”
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)：“那等我到了天堂，就去問(wèn)問(wèn)約拿。”
她的老師問(wèn)：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”
那個(gè)小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問(wèn)他。”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：A Duel 決斗
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
小彼得從操場(chǎng)回到家時(shí)，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。
顯然他剛與人惡斗了一番，而且打輸了。父親問(wèn)兒子發(fā)生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說(shuō)，我向拉里挑起決斗，而且我讓他挑選武器。”
“嗯，”父親說(shuō)，“這看上去很公平!”
“我知道，但我沒(méi)想到他選擇了他姐姐!”
簡(jiǎn)單的幽默笑話：Neither 都不是
It was local election time and the candidate was visiting all the houses in his area.
At one house a small boy answered the door. "Tell me, young man," said the politician. "Is your Mommy in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party?"
"Neither," said the child, "she's in the bathroom."
正值當(dāng)?shù)馗?jìng)選時(shí)期，候選人到他的區(qū)域的千家萬(wàn)戶(hù)登門(mén)拜訪。
候選人來(lái)到了一家門(mén)口，一個(gè)小男孩開(kāi)了門(mén)。“告訴我，年輕人，”候選人問(wèn)道，“你母親是在共和黨還是在民主黨?”
“都不是，”孩子答到，“她在浴室。”