英文笑話大全爆笑
英文笑話大全爆笑
笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環(huán),從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。小編精心收集了爆笑英文笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
爆笑英文笑話篇1
Three pastors
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summerstarted I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away. "
Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been hadthe place fumigated, and they still won’t go away. "
The third said,"I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen oneback since!"
三個牧師的故事
三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”
另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員……從此一只也沒有再回來過。”
爆笑英文笑話篇2
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.
"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But thegraduate students just write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區(qū)別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學(xué)給我們研究生上工程學(xué)課的老師如此說。
“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”
爆笑英文笑話篇3
A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told thefarmhand, "It's such a nuisance to come in from the field,, wash up for lunch and take time toeat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?"
The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, andthe two men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, "While we're still at the table, let's havesupper too. " They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ateonce more.
"Now that the meals are out of the way, " the farmer announced, we can go out and workall day without interruption. "
"Oh, no, " the farmhand answered. " I never work after supper.
一位農(nóng)場主非常吝嗇，不想讓他雇傭的幫手停下來休息。一天早上，他對幫手說：“從地里回來，又要洗手吃飯，又花時間，真是太不方便了。我們何不省點時間，現(xiàn)在就吃午飯呢?”
雇員同意了。農(nóng)場主的妻子端進(jìn)來一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，兩個人又開始吃起來。
吃完后，吝嗇鬼說：“既然我們還在桌子邊，讓我們連晚飯也吃了吧。”這次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和雜燴青菜。于是兩個人又吃起來。
“現(xiàn)在三頓飯都吃過了，”農(nóng)場主宣稱道，“我們便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那幫手回答說，“晚飯后我從不工作。”
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