英語小笑話大全
英語小笑話大全
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書籍雜志上廣泛流傳。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
英語小笑話篇一
守護(hù)天使
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的時(shí)候聽到一個(gè)聲音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要動瞅口果你再走一步，就會有一個(gè)磚塊掉到你的頭上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
這名男子停住了，一個(gè)大磚塊就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
這名男子非常驚訝。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他繼續(xù)向前走：不久后，他要穿越馬路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那個(gè)聲音再次叫說：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要動，如果你再走一步，就會有一輛汽車輾過你，你就會死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
這名男子因?yàn)樵恢甘具^，所以就照著做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此時(shí)正好有一輛汽車左搖右晃地沖過轉(zhuǎn)角處，差一點(diǎn)撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
這名男子問說：“你在哪里?你是誰?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
這個(gè)聲音回答說：“我是你的守護(hù)天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
這名男子問說：“喔，是嗎?那我結(jié)婚的時(shí)候：你死到哪里去了?”
英語小笑話篇二
主啊為什么是我
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野里徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心里想著他的老婆對他有多么好，他多么幸運(yùn)擁有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他問上帝：“你為什么要把她造得這么心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主響應(yīng)說：“我兒 呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你為什么要把她造得這么貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你為什么要把她造成一個(gè)很會做飯菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
The man thought about this.
這名男子想了一下這件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her sostupid? "
然后他說:“我并不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什么的,可是，你為什么把她造得這么笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我兒呀，這樣她就會愛你呀。”
英語小笑話篇三
銀行搶劫
Two accountants are in a bank ,
當(dāng)武裝捻匪突然沖進(jìn)銀行的時(shí)候。
when armed robbers burst in.
正好有兩名會計(jì)人員在里面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,
正當(dāng)幾個(gè)搶匪向出納員取錢的時(shí)候，
others line the customers,
其他的搶匪就把顧客們，
including the accountants,
包括這兩名會計(jì)人員在內(nèi)，
up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.
靠著墻壁排成一線開始奪取他們身上的皮夾子和手表等物品。
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand.
當(dāng)這件搶案正在發(fā)生的時(shí)候，一號會計(jì)人員把纂樣?xùn)|西塞迸二號會計(jì)火員的手里面。
Without looking down,a
沒有向下看，
ccountant two whispers,
二號會計(jì)人員就輕聲地說：
"What is this ?" to which accountant number one replies,
“這是什么東西呀?”
"It 's that I owe you."
一號會計(jì)人員回答說：“那是我欠你的五十元啦。”
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