英語(yǔ)笑話2分鐘
英語(yǔ)笑話2分鐘
冷笑話不同于一般的笑話，以其獨(dú)特的制笑機(jī)制，能瞬間制造出一種特殊氛圍。小編精心收集了2分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
2分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話篇1
磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
收師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋€(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)睡覺(jué)。一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人打瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好地教育他不要睡覺(jué)。
In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "
他低聲地對(duì)教徒們說(shuō):“想去天堂的人都站起來(lái)。”除打瞌睡的人外，每個(gè)人都站了起來(lái)。牧師說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐之后，高聲喊道:“下地獄的請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲所驚醒，站了起來(lái)?？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊希鷼獾赝?。他說(shuō):“先生，我不知我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯選人。”
2分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話篇2
聰明的鳥
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "
一位竊賊一天夜里闖進(jìn)一個(gè)好像沒(méi)有人的空房子。突然寂靜中傳來(lái)一聲:“我看見(jiàn)你了，圣人也看見(jiàn)你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.
這位驚恐不安的賊又試圖再走一步，那個(gè)聲音又說(shuō):“我看見(jiàn)你了，圣人也看見(jiàn)你了。”聽(tīng)到聲音，竊絨用手電照著聲音所傳來(lái)的方向。在那邊兒，一束燈光下坐著一只鸚鵡。
"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“該死的鳥，”竊賊像松了口氣似地罵著。
"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "
“我看見(jiàn)你了。”鸚鵡重復(fù)地叨嘮著:“圣人也看見(jiàn)你了。”
"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.
“閉嘴，”竊賊邊開(kāi)燈，邊喊叫著。這時(shí)他發(fā)現(xiàn)一條眼光咄咄逼人的構(gòu)坐在鸚鵡旁。
" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.
鸚鵡尖叫著:“圣人，撲呀!撲呀!”
2分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話篇3
昂貴的投資
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.
一位父親有四個(gè)兒子。一個(gè)兒子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三個(gè)兒子留在了家鄉(xiāng)。當(dāng)父親過(guò)世時(shí)，有錢的兒子太忙無(wú)法前來(lái)參加葬禮。但他吩咐其兄弟們，不要舍不得花錢，一切費(fèi)用由他來(lái)支付。
Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for ,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for . Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久，做富商的兒子從殯儀館主管那兒收到了一張5000美元的發(fā)票，他付了帳。從這以后，他每月都收到一張27美元的帳票。他對(duì)這筆微薄的開(kāi)銷有點(diǎn)兒好奇，于是就寫信給其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟們寫回信告訴他:“你告訴我們不必節(jié)省。既然你說(shuō)爸爸的穿著要高稚脫俗，所以我們?yōu)樗饬艘惶缀谏Y服。”
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