最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話閱讀
最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話閱讀
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂(lè)作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話：And Stuff the Cuffs in Your Boots
把褲腳塞到你的靴子里面去
The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.
一位未曾有過(guò)作戰(zhàn)經(jīng)驗(yàn)的將軍非常惶恐，因?yàn)榈诙鞂⒂袀€(gè)戰(zhàn)役要面對(duì)。
Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellington had always dressed in red for battle,
為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來(lái)偉大將領(lǐng)的檔案，發(fā)現(xiàn)威靈頓將軍每次戰(zhàn)斗中都身穿紅色衣服，
so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
萬(wàn)一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)。
Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他傳了副官進(jìn)來(lái)并指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。
最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話Keep Your Head
頭腦要保持冷靜!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.
有一個(gè)年輕人在一家雜貨店的農(nóng)產(chǎn)部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜。
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我們東西都沒(méi)有賣半顆的。”
"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要問(wèn)問(wèn)經(jīng)理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,
那名年輕人走到經(jīng)理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對(duì)經(jīng)理說(shuō)道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“經(jīng)理，有個(gè)渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他轉(zhuǎn)身發(fā)現(xiàn)那名顧客，立刻又補(bǔ)充說(shuō)：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而這位先生要買另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，經(jīng)理把他拉到一旁說(shuō)道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年輕人，你反應(yīng)真快。我們需要像你這么聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會(huì)記得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
幾個(gè)星期之后，經(jīng)理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個(gè)經(jīng)理的職位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，
“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來(lái)，“那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年輕人，我太太剛好來(lái)自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"
“真的嗎?經(jīng)理，那她是打哪一個(gè)位置呢?”
最經(jīng)典的短英文笑話：Home Sweet Home
還是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫(yī)生剛從非洲狩獵回來(lái)。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問(wèn)道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，實(shí)在太令人失望了，”外科醫(yī)生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也沒(méi)獵殺到，實(shí)際上，還是待在醫(yī)院里比較有成就感。”
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