短篇英語笑話故事閱讀
短篇英語笑話故事閱讀
英語笑話是內(nèi)容豐富并具有出乎意料結(jié)尾的幽默口頭故事。小編精心收集了短篇英語笑話故事，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短篇英語笑話故事：父親的東西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father，so he began to borrow Mr.Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr.Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily，“Isn't that one of my ties，Tom?”
“Yes，F(xiàn)ather，it is，”answered Tom.
“And that shirt's mine too，isn't that one of my ties，Tom?”
“Yes，that's yours too，”answered Tom.
“And you're wearing my belt!” said Mr.Howard.
“Yes， I am， Father，”answered Tom.“You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you?”
父親的東西
湯姆·霍華德17歲的時候，長得和他父親一般高了，于是當(dāng)他想和朋友晚上一起出去時，就開始借穿起霍華德先生的衣服來。
霍華德先生可不喜歡這樣，所以，當(dāng)他發(fā)現(xiàn)兒子穿了他的什么衣服時，就總是十分惱火。
一天晚上，正當(dāng)湯姆走下樓來要出去時，父親在門廳里攔住了他。他細(xì)細(xì)地打量著湯姆身上的穿著。
然后他氣呼呼地說：“湯姆，那不是我的一條領(lǐng)帶嗎?”
湯姆回答說：“是的，父親，是你的領(lǐng)帶。”
他的父親又繼續(xù)問：“還有那襯衫也是我的，對吧?”
湯姆回答說：“是的，那也是你的。”
霍華德先生說：“還有，你連皮帶也是用我的!”
湯姆回答說：“是呀，父親。你總不希望讓你的褲子掉下來吧，是嗎?”
短篇英語笑話故事：He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first."
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.
At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?"
The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得數(shù)只比正確答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美國一所學(xué)院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學(xué)業(yè)不行，院方不愿錄取。
有一天，教練帶著一位優(yōu)秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學(xué)。經(jīng)過一番勸說后院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”
然后他轉(zhuǎn)向?qū)W生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題?？墒悄莻€學(xué)生一個也答不上來。
最后院長說：“那么，五乘七得多少?”
學(xué)生想了很久，然后回答說：“三十六。”
院長攤開雙手失望地看了看教練。可是教練認(rèn)真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”
短篇英語笑話故事：I Didn't Notice It
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
我沒有看到它
母親：約翰尼，今天早上我在食品櫥里放了兩塊蛋糕，現(xiàn)在只剩下一塊了，你說是怎么回事?
約翰尼：哦，我想是因為里面太黑，我沒有看見另一塊。
短篇英語笑話故事：Accident
Workman：“Mr.Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.”
Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.”
事故
工人：“布朗先生，我想請您給我加一點工資。我剛剛結(jié)了婚。”
雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我無能為力。對工人在廠外發(fā)生的事故我們概不負(fù)責(zé)。”
短篇英語笑話故事：An Explanation of Tardiness
In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in an“attendance book”.This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， and“remarks”. Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin the“remarks” column.
When a real“London particular①” occurs the number“below the line” is legion ;the first of them wirtes：“Delayedby fog，” and the rest scribble a“ditto”.
One morning—a foggy one—Mr. Jones became a proud father;but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late. Proudly he wrote in explanation：“Wife had twins，”which was followed in due course by the usual string of “ditto's”!
遲到的原因
在一些政府機(jī)關(guān)里，每天早晨到達(dá)辦公室時職員們都要在一本“簽到簿”上簽上他們的名字。這本簽到簿留出空格簽名，寫簽到時間，還有“備注”。上班時間過后十分鐘，一個官員就在最后一個人的名字下面劃一道紅線。以后來的每一個人都必須在“備注”欄里注明遲到的原因。
當(dāng)真正的“倫敦大霧”出現(xiàn)的時候，“紅線以下”的名字就很多。第一個遲到的人寫上“因大霧延誤時間”，其他的人，在下面草草寫上“丷”(同上)。
一天早上——一個大霧迷漫的早晨——瓊斯先生驕傲地當(dāng)上了父親;但即使是這種事也只讓他遲到了十一分鐘。他自豪地寫上他的原因：“妻子生了一對雙胞胎，”到一定的時候，這個解釋下面照例又跟了一串“丷”。
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