關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話：忠告“年輕者”
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirementcommunity. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
這里想對(duì)將要退休者提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，
千萬(wàn)別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锶巳硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時(shí)，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話：醫(yī)生住在樓下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。
“我想讓你坦率地說(shuō)我到底得了什么病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會(huì)改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話：One Engine Left
(只剩一個(gè)引擎)
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r
esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
一架747客機(jī)正在跨越大西洋時(shí)，喇叭里傳來(lái)了機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“旅客們請(qǐng)注意，我們的四個(gè)引擎中有一個(gè)丟失了。但剩下的三個(gè)引擎會(huì)把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時(shí) 。” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，旅客們又聽(tīng)到機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎么啦 ?我們剛又掉了第三個(gè)引擎。但請(qǐng)你們相信好了。只有一個(gè)引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個(gè)小時(shí)了。” 正在這時(shí)，一位乘客非常氣憤地說(shuō)：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們?cè)俚粢粋€(gè)引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話：Bring me the winner
(給我那個(gè)打贏的吧)
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
-- 服務(wù)員，
這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。
-- 對(duì)不起，先生，這只肯定打過(guò)架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。
關(guān)于初一簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話：Mommy is hitting the bottle
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During herstruggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
一個(gè)婦人正在使勁打開(kāi)番茄醬的瓶子。這時(shí)，電話鈴響了，她叫四歲的女兒去接電話。小孩說(shuō)：“媽媽現(xiàn)在不能接電話，她在砸瓶子。”
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