較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事閱讀
較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事閱讀
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事，希望可以幫助大家!
較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事：Meet My Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事：Still a virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously1 divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin2."
"What?" said the puzzled groom3.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement5, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing4: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事：蛋糕
Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".
迪克年齡七歲,他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲.一天,媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩,自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服.
孩子們玩了個(gè)把小時(shí),在四點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候,姨媽領(lǐng)著迪克走進(jìn)了廚房.她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并對(duì)他說：“喏,迪克,給你刀子,把這塊蛋糕一切為二,給你妹妹一塊.不過,你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣.”
迪克問：“像一個(gè)紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”
他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的.”
迪克說了一聲“噢”.他對(duì)此想了一會(huì),然后,他把蛋糕拿給妹妹,并對(duì)她說：“凱瑟琳,你來把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧.”
較長(zhǎng)的英語笑話故事：I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!
四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過來對(duì)第一個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理."過了一會(huì)兒,護(hù)士過來對(duì)第二個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來對(duì)第三個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對(duì)雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻€(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對(duì)勁,他回答道:"什么不對(duì)勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
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