爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話是幽默的語(yǔ)言表達(dá)。它是一種常見(jiàn)的幽默傳達(dá)方式。笑話是口頭或者書(shū)面的幽默語(yǔ)言。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：Three days to live 只能再活三天
One day, a professor asked his students: "If you have only three days to live in this world, what will you do?" Student A: I want to stay with my girl friend. Student B: I want to go back to see my parents. Student C: I will try my best to eat some delicious food.. Student D: Professor, I want to attend you lecture. Hearing this, the professor was no moved. He thought that anyhow there was still a student who wanted to attend his lecture. Just at this moment, he wanted very much to know why the student liked his lecture. So the professor asked: "Can I know the reason?" "Because when we are in your class, we feel that one day seems a year." Answered student D.
某日，一位教授問(wèn)學(xué)生：“假如你們只剩下三天時(shí)間可以活在這個(gè)世界上的話，你們將會(huì)做些什么?” 學(xué)生A：我要和我的女朋友待在一起。 學(xué)生B：我要回家看父母。 學(xué)生C：我要使勁吃好些東西。 學(xué)生D:教授，我想聽(tīng)你講課。 聽(tīng)到這里教授非常感動(dòng)。心想，總算有學(xué)生愿意聽(tīng)自己的課。此時(shí)，英語(yǔ)小故事他很想知道學(xué)生喜歡他講課的原因。于是，教授問(wèn)道：“我能知道原因嗎?” “因?yàn)槲覀兟?tīng)教授的課有種度日如年的感覺(jué)。”學(xué)生D回答。
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：We weren't looking for the same thing
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.
After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted(勇敢的), she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for 0."
孩子在車庫(kù)打球時(shí)掉了一只隱形眼鏡。
找了一會(huì)兒，他告訴母親找不到了。母親出去了，幾分鐘以后，拿著隱形眼鏡回來(lái)。“媽媽，你是怎么找到的?”孩子問(wèn)。“我們找的不是同一件東西，”母親回答，“你找的是一小片塑料，而我是在找150塊錢。”
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：Civil rights 公民權(quán)利
On the first day of an American history class, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.
The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response, the professor said, "All right. Name five."
Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated professor begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."
To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, "I have the right to remain silent."
第一天上美國(guó)歷史課時(shí)，教授布置學(xué)習(xí)第五章有關(guān)公民權(quán)的材料。
第二天，教授要求一個(gè)同學(xué)列舉其中十種權(quán)利。那位同學(xué)沒(méi)有回答，教授說(shuō)：“好吧，說(shuō)五種。”
那個(gè)同學(xué)還是一聲不吭，最后教授感到非常生氣，就要求他說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)把你作為公民所擁有的權(quán)利列舉一種。”
面對(duì)哄堂大笑，小伙子答道：“我有權(quán)利保持沉默。”
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：他游不過(guò)大西洋
An American visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner for the dog ,but the shepherd refused. "I couldn't part with Jack," he said.
Just then, a man with an English accent walked up and made the same offer. The shepherd agreed, pocketed money and handed over the dog.
The American was very angry. "You told me you wouldn't sell that dog," he cried .
"No ,no" said the shepherd. "I said I couldn't part with him. England is nit that far away and Jack will be back in a couple of days . But he couldn't swim the Atlantic".
一個(gè)訪問(wèn)蘇格蘭的美國(guó)人碰到一個(gè)牧羊人帶著個(gè)漂亮的牧羊狗。美國(guó)人愿出價(jià)50美元買這只狗，可是牧羊人拒絕了。“我不能和杰克分離，”他說(shuō)。
就在這時(shí)，一個(gè)英格蘭口音的人走過(guò)，出相同的價(jià)錢。牧羊人的同意了，他把錢裝起來(lái)，把狗遞過(guò)去。
美國(guó)人很生氣，“你告訴我你不愿賣這只狗的，”他大聲說(shuō)。
“不，不”牧羊人說(shuō)，“我說(shuō)過(guò)我不能與他分離。英格蘭并不太遠(yuǎn)，杰克幾天后就會(huì)回來(lái)?？墒?，它游不過(guò)大西洋呀”。
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