適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話
適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話
笑話作為廣大人民群眾喜聞樂(lè)見(jiàn)的文學(xué)樣式,自誕生之日起就憑借其辛辣獨(dú)到的諷刺手法,夸張變形的藝術(shù)構(gòu)思以及背反邏輯的情節(jié)設(shè)想等語(yǔ)體特點(diǎn)而得到作家青睞。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話，歡迎閱讀!
適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話篇一
New business was opening 開(kāi)業(yè)大吉
A new business was opening ... and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
新公司開(kāi)業(yè)了，開(kāi)業(yè)典禮上，經(jīng)理的一個(gè)朋友送他一個(gè)花籃。
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."
經(jīng)理高聲朗讀著花籃上的賀卡：“安息吧。”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
經(jīng)理生氣極了，打電話找來(lái)賣(mài)花的人要質(zhì)問(wèn)他是怎么回事。
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ..
花店老板來(lái)了，看到這個(gè)明顯的錯(cuò)誤和經(jīng)理氣急敗壞的樣子，他說(shuō)：“我真得很抱歉。但是與其這么生氣，你倒不如這樣想：有另外一個(gè)地方，今天要舉辦一個(gè)葬禮，他們將會(huì)收到一個(gè)花籃，
'Congratulations on your new location!'"
留言條上寫(xiě)著‘恭喜你有了新的歸屬!’”
適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話篇二
Nobody available 誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺(jué)，妻子告訴我說(shuō)我沒(méi)有關(guān)儲(chǔ)藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶看見(jiàn)那還亮著。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.
我也透過(guò)窗戶朝那邊看，發(fā)現(xiàn)有幾個(gè)人正在偷東西。我趕忙報(bào)警，但是警察局說(shuō)現(xiàn)在沒(méi)有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過(guò)來(lái)。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."
我說(shuō)沒(méi)問(wèn)題，然后掛了電話，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過(guò)去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過(guò)電話來(lái)，我告訴你說(shuō)有人正在我家的儲(chǔ)藏室偷東西。但是現(xiàn)在沒(méi)事了，因?yàn)槲覄倓傞_(kāi)槍把他們都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
隨后，五分鐘之內(nèi)有六輛警車(chē)來(lái)到了我家，警報(bào)也響了。當(dāng)然，他們當(dāng)場(chǎng)抓住了竊賊。有個(gè)警察對(duì)我說(shuō)：“我記得你說(shuō)你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說(shuō)現(xiàn)在誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空。”
適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話篇三
No Problem 沒(méi)問(wèn)題
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
一個(gè)禿頭的男人坐在理發(fā)店里。
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain.
發(fā)型師問(wèn)：“有什么可以幫你嗎?”那個(gè)人解釋說(shuō)：“我本來(lái)要去做頭發(fā)移植，但實(shí)在太疼了。
If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you ,000."
如果你能夠讓我的頭發(fā)看起來(lái)像你的一樣，而且沒(méi)有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
“沒(méi)問(wèn)題，”發(fā)型師說(shuō)，然后他很快幫自己剃了個(gè)光頭。
適合學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)的笑話篇四
Obituary 死亡訃告
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.
地方報(bào)社負(fù)責(zé)刊登死亡訃告的部門(mén)電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢(qián)?”一位女士問(wèn)。
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."
“五美元一個(gè)字，太太。”書(shū)記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會(huì)兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
“好的，這樣寫(xiě)：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書(shū)記員疑惑地問(wèn)道。“對(duì)，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒(méi)有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個(gè)字。”
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你就應(yīng)該告訴我，”女士有點(diǎn)生氣了，“現(xiàn)在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫(xiě)：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車(chē)。’”
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