好笑的英文小笑話故事

　　笑話應(yīng)該是指一個短的段子或故事 ,末尾處有一個精彩的話鋒一急轉(zhuǎn)彎或妙語 。下面小編整理了好笑的英文小笑話故事，希望大家喜歡!

　　好笑的英文小笑話故事：人盡其才

　　little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.

　　一天，一個小男孩匆匆忙忙地走進了一家雜貨店，手里拿著一張清單。

　　"Hello, Mr. Smith,” He said. “I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 32 cents.”

　　“史密斯先生，你好。”他說道:“三毛二分錢一磅的咖啡，請給我十三磅。”

　　"Very good,” said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.

　　“好的。”雜貨店老板馬上把這筆生意記了下來。

　　"Anything e1se, Charlie?"

　　“還要別的什么不，查理?”

　　"Yes. Twenty一seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.”

　　“要的。再要二十七磅糖，九分錢一磅的。”

　　"The loaf, eh? And what else?"

　　“面包要不要?還要什么?”

　　"Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 20 cents.”

　　“七磅半咸肉，二毛錢一磅的。”

　　"That will be a good brand. Go on.”

　　這肉是名牌呢。還有嗎?”

　　"Five pounds of tea at 90 cents; eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint; two eight一pound hams at 21 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts at 24 cents a jar.”

　　“九毛錢一磅的茶葉，給我五磅;八分錢一品脫的糖漿要十一夸脫半;二毛一分錢的八磅大火腿要兩只，二毛四分錢一罐的腌核桃要五打。”

　　The grocer made out the bill.

　　雜貨店老板把帳單算了出來。

　　"It’s a big order,” he said. "Did your mother tell you to pay for it?"

　　“你買了很多東西，”他說:“你媽媽叫你現(xiàn)在把錢付清嗎?”

　　"My mother,” said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, "has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic lesson and I had to get it done somehow.”

　　小男孩一面把那清楚準(zhǔn)確的賬單放進口袋一面說:“這和我媽沒關(guān)系，這是我自己的算術(shù)作業(yè)，我總得想辦法把它做出來!”

　　好笑的英文小笑話故事：混合雙打

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

　　體育老師:孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?

　　Nick: Yes sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

　　尼克:是的，老師，經(jīng)常見。昨天夜里我還見過呢?

　　Teacher: Please tell us something about it

　　老師:那你就給大家講講當(dāng)時的情形吧。

　　Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says,‘Domestic shame should not be published.’

　　尼克:啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說:“家丑不可外揚。”

　　好笑的英文小笑話故事：我自己過去

　　There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write.

　　從前，有一個地主是個既不會讀也不會寫的文盲，但他卻偏要在人前裝作很有學(xué)問。

　　One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests, a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow. The landlord was afraid that his guests would know he was unable to read or write, so he opened the envelope and glanced over the words. Then he said to the servant, "OK, please tell him I’11 go there myself in a few minutes.”

　　一天，當(dāng)?shù)刂髡唾e客聊天的時候，仆人走進來遞給他一封信，信上請他出借一頭牛。地主害怕被客人知道自己是個文盲，于是他打開信封，瞧了瞧信上的字，然后對仆人說:“好的，你告訴他我等一下自己過去。”

　　好笑的英文小笑話故事：你好，水手

　　The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.

　　一個頭發(fā)灰白的老船長在測驗一個從海軍學(xué)校畢業(yè)的新手。

　　"What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"

　　“如果船的右弦突然刮起了暴風(fēng)雨，你會采取什么措施?”

　　"I'd throw out an anchor, sir.”

　　“我會拋錨，先生。”

　　"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

　　“如果船尾也刮起了暴風(fēng)雨，你會怎么做?”

　　"I'd throw out another anchor, sir.”

　　“我會再拋一個錨，先生。”

　　"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"

　　“那么如果船頭第三次刮起了暴風(fēng)雨，怎么辦?”

　　"I'd throw out another anchor, captain.”

　　“我會再次拋錨，船長。”

　　"Just a minute, son, Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"

　　“等一下，孩子。你到底從哪弄來那么多錨的?”

　　"From the same place you’re getting all your storms，sir.”

　　“從您弄來暴風(fēng)雨的地方，先生。”

　　好笑的英文小笑話故事：要叫先生

　　Teacher: (to a new boy) What’s，your name, my little fellow?

　　老師:(對一位新生說)小同學(xué)，你叫什么名字?

　　New boy: Erbert Arris.

　　新生:我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯。

　　Teacher: Always say ‘sir' please, when you are speaking to master. It's more polite.

　　老師:請你跟老師說話時叫先生，這樣比較有禮貌。

　　New boy: ( apologetically )Sir Erbert Arris.

　　新生:(帶歉意地)我叫赫博特·阿瑞斯先生。