雙語：膽怯沒有什么大不了(2)
Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, shift your focus to someone else and ask yourself how you can help them or add value to their lives.
下次如果你處于別扭的情形中，就把自我身上的注意力轉(zhuǎn)到別人身上吧，并且問問自己怎樣才能幫助他們或者給他們的人生增添價(jià)值。
Be interested instead of trying to be interesting.
對(duì)周圍感興趣，而非讓周圍對(duì)你感興趣
Make the focus of every conversation about someone else at first. This will take the pressure off of you and make them feel significant. Asking questions and genuinely caring about what the person says immediately gets you out of your own head and makes the person feel special.
開始要將注意力集中在和別人的每場對(duì)話中。這能減少壓力并且別人也能找到存在感。無論對(duì)方在談?wù)摵问?，你都要及時(shí)提點(diǎn)問題并且由衷地關(guān)心，這樣才能避免你沉浸在自我的世界中，同時(shí)說話的人也會(huì)感到有意義。
Be mindful not to interrogate, but simply show a curiosity about their world. Actually listen to their voice and less to that voice of doubt in your head.
注意不要去打斷別人，可以時(shí)不時(shí)地表現(xiàn)出你的好奇。要真正地聽取對(duì)方的話，而不要在腦袋中質(zhì)疑內(nèi)容的正確與否。
Your outcome is to have the confidence to create more authentic relationships with people. In order to do that you must build a comfortable bond with them. When you discover more about someone, connect your similar interests to create that bond.
你的目的是有信心去建立更加牢靠的關(guān)系。為了做到這一點(diǎn)你必須在彼此間找到對(duì)味的話題。當(dāng)你更加了解一個(gè)人之后，你仍要興趣不減地繼續(xù)創(chuàng)造那種話題。
How will you start to be more interested in people? Will you ask them about their job, their taste in music, or an experience they had? Next time you do, seek for common interests to build a bond.
那你要怎樣才能做到對(duì)一個(gè)人更加感興趣呢?你會(huì)問及他們的工作，音樂的品味或者曾有過的經(jīng)歷嗎?下次問別人的時(shí)候，找一個(gè)共同感興趣的話題。
Embrace vulnerability.
擁抱脆弱
Trying to pretend that you are not nervous makes people nervous.
故作鎮(zhèn)定只會(huì)讓別人不淡定。
I was in a small workshop one time, shaking in my shoes. I just came right out and said, “You know what, you guys? This is my first time speaking in front of you and I'm terrified! Yikes!” Everyone opened up and started joking around. It broke the ice. I immediately felt more comfortable because I felt a part of them.
有一次在一個(gè)小車間里，我緊張得雙腳哆嗦。于是我就站了起來然后說道，“伙計(jì)們，你們知道嗎?這是我第一次在大家面前發(fā)言，緊張死了!哎呀!”眾人聽了都放開了，接著開始說笑。尷尬的局面就這樣被打破。我瞬間覺得不忐忑了，因?yàn)檎业搅藲w屬感。
Brené Brown, an expert in vulnerability (yes, there is actually an expert in vulnerability)， says that courage actually comes from vulnerability. Ironically, people actually find vulnerability endearing. It makes them want to protect you, it makes you human, and it makes you relatable.
布勒。布朗是脆弱專家(確實(shí)，真的有這種專家)，他說勇氣實(shí)則源自脆弱?；氖?，人們事實(shí)上覺得脆弱是討喜的事。因?yàn)槟悄茏寗e人對(duì)你產(chǎn)生保護(hù)欲，而你也因此才具人性，這是能產(chǎn)生共鳴的特點(diǎn)。
Trust me, I hung out with the cool kids and the oddballs, too. They are all the same. Everyone freaks out at some time or another. Be vulnerable. It's OK!
相信我，潮人和異類我都接觸過。二者都一樣。但人們有時(shí)就是排斥其中之一。所以，脆弱沒什么大不了!