問問自己:你真的沒時間嗎
Do You Have the Time?In English, this question has two different meanings.The first one is: “Do you know what time it is?” While not uncommon, this is less frequently used than the simpler question with the same meaning: “What time is it?”The other meaning is: “Do you have the time (e.g. to do this or that)?” This is a very commonly asked question, whether in American, British, or Australian English.If I were the editor of the Grand Encyclopedia of Excuses (a book which does not yet exist), I think that the response — “I don’t have the time” — would win the prize for being the most commonly used excuse, year after year.After all, it’s such a convenient excuse.
Think about how often you (and I) have used this as an explanation of why we couldn’t do something, take on a new task, help someone, visit someone, etc. We’ve all used this excuse countless times. Sometimes it’s a statement of fact, and let’s face it, sometimes it’s just an excuse.The distinction here between a when it’s a statement of fact and when it’s an excuse is blurry and subjective, but deep down we each have a pretty clear idea of the difference.In practical terms, the lack of available time seems to be, and often is, a valid reason for why we cannot take something on. Unless, of course, we make the effort to re-arrange our time, within our abilities to do so, probably making a sacrifice of some sort in the process.“I just don’t have the time” is — all too often — a dodge, a hedge, and a cop-out. Once we get to a certain age, when we are generally considered to be “grown-ups”, we are expected to have developed improved time management skills.In many instances, “I don’t have time” has the same meaning as “I am not willing to make time.” Sure, we’re all busy; but in the end, it’s a matter of priorities: within work, work versus family, spouse or partner, friends, community, etc.
你真的沒時間嗎?在英文中，“你有時間嗎”(Do You Have the Time?)有兩種截然不同的含義。第一種含義是“你知道現(xiàn)在幾點(diǎn)嗎?”雖然這種問法并不少見，但比起直接問“幾點(diǎn)啦”(What time is it ?)用得還是比較少。第二種含義是“你有時間(做某事)嗎?”這種問法在美國英語、英國英語、澳洲英語中都十分常見。假如我是《借口大辭?！?一本迄今為止還不存在的書)的編輯，我會認(rèn)為“沒時間”將成為歷年“最常用借口”大獎的得主。畢竟，用“沒時間”做借口再方便不過。
回想一下，你(還有我本人)用“沒時間”來搪塞自己為什么不能做某事、不能接新任務(wù)、不能幫助別人、不能見別人的頻率有多高。我們都快把這個借口用濫了。有時候事實(shí)可能的確如此，但有時候我們必須正視它只是個借口。在這里，事實(shí)和借口的界線十分模糊，也很主觀，但在內(nèi)心深處，我們都非常清楚它們的不同。在現(xiàn)實(shí)中，缺少時間似乎是，并且經(jīng)常是我們不能做某事的正當(dāng)理由。當(dāng)然，除非我們能在能力許可的范圍內(nèi)盡量重新安排時間，并在這一過程中作出某種犧牲。“我只是沒時間” 在太多情況下只是一種躲閃、回避和逃離。當(dāng)我們到了某個年齡，被當(dāng)作是“大人”時，就要求我們具備更完善的管理時間的技能。很多時候，“我沒時間”和“我不愿意花時間”意思相同。的確，我們都很忙，但歸根結(jié)底還是熟輕孰重的問題，這包括在工作中，也包括在工作和家庭、伴侶和合作伙伴、朋友和社會之間。
No one gives you the time. It doesn’t grow on trees or fall from the sky like raindrops. You make the time, as well as most of the related decisions about what is important. The key is what criteria you rely on. It may be coolness, a money-making opportunity, hanging out with the right crowd, or reaching out to people in need.If you don’t decide on the use of your time, the decision will be taken away from you. Lots of powerful magnets surround us, ready to pull our time from us like loose iron shavings off a table top. It’s really up to us to decide on how to balance and manage time, and that’s a challenge.Another saying in English is “take your time,” which means “relax; no great rush; follow your own pace” similar to the Chinese, “慢慢來”.I see a deeper meaning to this simple phrase, which is that if you don’t take (control of) your time, someone else will do so for you. It’s a bit like a child being told “eat your food, or someone else will.”That does not mean we should ignore unpredictable urgent demands on our time which can arise, which often impinge on our ability to do other more meaningful things. But it does mean we need to develop a clear-minded approach to prioritizing, and a disciplined approach to time management.
If you consider customer relationships, how often is the root of a customer’s dissatisfaction the perception that we were too busy to pay attention to his or her needs? This is often a core element of customer unhappiness, and part of the reason we lose customers. If you consider friends and family relationships, how often is the root of hurt feelings the perception that “so and so” has become too busy to call, visit, answer our communications, etc? Left to people’s imagination and common fears, these feelings easily evolve into a sense of rejection, an erosion of trust, and eventually a breakdown in relationships. That is, unless we really care. And if we care, all it takes to avoid these speed bumps — in the workplace or elsewhere — is keeping a clear focus on priorities, and not getting swept up into the hectic pace to the extent that we begin to overlook some of the really important stuff. What helps to make “I don’t have the time” the most common excuse of all is that we often don’t even say it out loud. We simply think it, and act on it; so the other party is left wondering what the reason for our inattention is. That creates uncertainty, plants the seeds of doubt, and hurt feelings.
If we find that that has happened, whether at work or outside, the best antidote is to have the courage to say “I’m sorry.” It won’t solve the whole problem, but it helps repair the initial damage, and sets the stage for ongoing repair. If you think about your friends, colleagues and business partners, it’s not difficult to divide them into two categories: those rare ones who always make time for you when you need them, and those common folks who mostly don’t. In the long run, your loyalties will naturally gravitate to those who do. Beware the world’s most common excuse, whether you speak the words or just think the thought. When you look back on your life, you’ll be more appreciative of those occasions when you made the time than for those when you seized the advantage.
沒有人能給你時間，時間不是樹上結(jié)出的果子，也不會像雨點(diǎn)般從天而降。你只能自己創(chuàng)造時間，并對與其關(guān)系最緊密的問題，也就是事物重要性的問題做出決定。其中關(guān)鍵就是決策的依據(jù)，這個依據(jù)可能是酷，可能是掙錢的機(jī)會，可能是與情投意合的人結(jié)伴玩耍，也有可能是向有需要的人施以援手。如果你不支配自己的時間，那決定權(quán)就由不得你。我們身邊有很多強(qiáng)力的磁場，會像從桌上吸走鐵屑一樣瞬間就吸走我們的時間。如何平衡與管理時間真的要取決于我們自己的決定，這是一個挑戰(zhàn)。英語中有個說法叫“take your time”，意思是“放松，別著急，跟著自己的節(jié)奏走”，和中文中的“慢慢來”頗為相似。這個簡單的短語讓我看到一層深意，就是如果你不慢慢來(不控制時間)，別人就會幫你控制。就像我們常對孩子說的：“吃你的飯，要不該被別人吃了。”這并不是說要忽略出人意料的突發(fā)事件在時間上對我們的要求，因?yàn)檫@種情況通常會激發(fā)我們的潛力，讓我們做出更有意義的事。但是，它意味著我們必須對優(yōu)先排序和時間管理有個思路清晰、條理清楚的辦法。
講到客戶關(guān)系，客戶不滿意從根本上講有多少是與我們太忙而無法關(guān)注他們的需求有關(guān)?這往往是引起客戶不高興的主因，也是客戶流失的部分原因。講到朋友和家庭關(guān)系，傷感情的根本原因有多少是與某某人忙得沒時間打電話、看望或回應(yīng)溝通有關(guān)?僅憑想象和擔(dān)憂，這種感覺很容易就會演化為反感、不信任，甚至最終導(dǎo)致關(guān)系的破裂。也就是說，除非我們真的在乎。如果在乎的話，為避免這種“減速帶”，無論在職場或其他地方，所要做的就是關(guān)注輕重緩急，不要陷入手忙腳亂的節(jié)奏，以至于開始忽略真正重要的東西。讓“我沒時間”變成常用借口的一個幫兇就是我們通常不會大聲把它說出來，而只是想想或者直接去做。結(jié)果，對方完全不明白我們不理不睬的原因，這樣不僅會滋生不確定性，還會埋下懷疑和傷害感情的種子。
一旦發(fā)生這種情況，不管是在單位還是在外邊，最好的矯正辦法就是鼓足勇氣說聲“對不起”。雖然這解決不了什么問題，但卻有助于修補(bǔ)最初的裂痕，并為進(jìn)一步修復(fù)關(guān)系搭建平臺?；叵胍幌履愕呐笥?、同事和商業(yè)伙伴，他們很容易就被分為兩類：一類是極少數(shù)總能在你需要時擠出時間的人，另一類是大多數(shù)總也沒有時間的人。長此以往，你的心自然就會偏向那些愿意為你花時間的人。對于這個世界上最常見的借口，大家一定要好好了解，無論是把它說出來還是藏在心里?；仡櫼簧?，那些擠出時間才完成的事總要比順便才做的事更讓你印象深刻。